


With Passion'd Breath Does the Darkness Creep

by Lalapie



Series: The Canticle of Eve [1]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Religion Kink, Stockholm Syndrome, Time Travel, dark!cullen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 18:31:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4190490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalapie/pseuds/Lalapie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With passion'd breath does the darkness creep,<br/>It is the whisper in the night, the lie upon your sleep<br/>- Transfigurations 1:5</p><p>Something goes wrong when Dorian and Eve Trevelyan are sent back from the dark future. Eve falls through the porthole before the spell is ready, and ends up not back in Redcliffe but in the lap of Knight-Captain Cullen in his office in Kirkwall.</p><p>The Inquisitor thinks she knows how much trouble she is in- after all, she has heard the stories about Cullen's feelings on mages. What she doesn't realize is that late-Kirkwall Cullen was not only bigoted, but half-mad (from the lyrium idol, from stress, from never sleeping).</p><p>Cullen knows that Eve is a mage. Cullen knows that she has a large, green hole in her hand - But Cullen doesn't think that the Inquisitor is a demon. Slightly unhinged by lack of sleep, stress and his personal demons the only explanation his mind can come up with is that the beautiful mage who just fell in is lap is his Maker-sent reward. He has no intention of letting her go anywhere, much less back to the future.</p><p>A response to a Kinkmeme prompt</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All things in this world are finite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have tagged this story because contains scenes of an non-consensual nature. It will not contain anything physically violent.

All things in this world are finite.  
What one man gains, another has lost.  
-The Chant of Light, Transfigurations 1:5

 

The door to the hall burst open and demons and Venatori poured through. They pushed through Leliana’s barrage of arrows, the archer could not hold them back for long on her own and they advanced. Eve watched the scene in horror as Dorian furiously tried to work the amulet. When an arrow hit Leliana in the shoulder it was only Dorian’s firm grasp on her arm that held her from running to Leliana’s side.

‘You move and we all die!’ Dorian roared at her over the clang and scrape of blade on amour.

He tugged on Eve’s arm and sent her stumbling backwards to the swirling magic’s he had summoned around the amulet. Her feet tangled beneath her and Eve fell. The world seemed to slow as she tumbled backwards. She watched Dorian’s features morph from strained determination to surprised shock as he reached, so slowly, to try and catch a hold of her again. Over his shoulder Leliana hung in the air, bow extended to connect with a Venatori’s face. Eve reached her hand out to try and grab Dorian’s fingers, but before their hands could connect the world dissolved around her in a cloud of green sparks. Eve squeezed her eyes shut as she kept falling.

 

When Eve finally landed it was no on the stone floor she had braced herself for but a, very slightly, more forgiving metal surface- the landing still knocked the breath from her lungs.

‘- ‘aker’s breath!’ An equally breathless masculine voice exclaimed.  
Eve’s eyes flew open as steel clad arms encircled her and she gasped with delight as she found the familiar face of Commander Cullen staring down at her in shock.

‘Cullen!’ She threw her arms around his neck and laughed in surprised delight. ‘Thank the Maker!’

Cullen froze under her touch. Eve had to stifle a giggle; she supposed throwing herself in his lap was too- quick an excitation from her tentative flirting for such a reserved man. She was going to get of his lap and apologise when he hit her with the cleansing strike.

Eve gasped in shock and wrenched herself from Cullen as she felt her mana drain away, leaving her dizzy with spots dancing before her vision. His gauntleted hand closed around her left wrist and held it tightly before him, effectively holding her in place.

‘Cullen, why..?’ Eve gasped before a second cleanse washed over her and she sagged against his grasp.

‘Who are you Mage? What is this foul magic?’ He demanded.

‘It’s me, Eve.’ She sobbed. ‘It’s the mark, remember? From Andraste in the temple?’

Cullen’s eyes narrowed as the mark flared and bathed his frown in green light. It was then that she noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the un-scared skin of his lip. Eve looked around them, at the spartan room in a building she’s surely never been in before. Lastly her eyes fell to the flaming sword of mercy on his chest. This Cullen, she realised, was not the man she knew. 

_____  
HAVEN

 

Eve Trevelyan, the Herald of Andraste, was not a mage who had reason to fear Templars. She walked through Haven with her back straight and her head held high. Those Templars she passed bowed their heads to her with a respectful ‘my lady’ just as those at home- at Ostwick Circle- had. Eve paused at the edge of the training area to watch with approval as the Commander put the troops through their paces. The handsome man saw her watching and offered a smile and nod.

Eve had read Varric Tethras’ book, his description of the fearsome Knight Captain of Kirkwall but she couldn’t equate that man with the one she’d met. From their introduction over the war table Cullen had been all politeness and chivalry towards her, just like the Templars she knew. Just like her uncle, may he rest by the Maker’s side, and the Templars who had served under him.

But Cullen was a Templar no longer, no longer bound by the Chantry. No longer forbidden. And Eve had always been curious about the impressive physiques that where surely required to carry all that plate around all day. So when the Commander left the trainees to speak with her she greeted him with a charming smile.

_____  
KIRKWALL

 

Eve jumped at a feather light tough on her cheek. She lifted her eyes from Cullen’s chest plate back to his face. His expression had softened, though it was still wary and guarded with none of the kindness she was used to seeing back in Haven. Or was it for-ward in Haven? For surly this was Kirkwall before the explosion of the Chantry, which had thrown all of their lives into chaos.

Cullen lifted his hand to her forehead and she flinched again, though he only swept her hair out of her face.

‘Hush,’ He cooed to her, holding her left hand more gently now but still firmly to his chest.

She shuddered as his gaze swept over her with some heat. It was a look she would have appreciated from future Cullen, but he had never used his abilities against her, would never dream of hurting her. From the Cullen here and now it made her uneasy.

‘You know my name.’ He spoke gently to her now, in a slightly wondering tone as he slowly traced her features with hand and eye. ‘And yet I have never seen you before, you are not from this circle. You fall in my lap and embrace me, bearing a magic mark resistant to my abilities which you claim the Maker’s Bride herself bestowed upon you.’

His thumb brushed her lip.

‘And you are as beautiful as a desire demon.’ Cullen murmured. 

Eve held her breath as Cullen leaned forward and gently pressed a kiss against her forehead. She shut her eyes, overwhelmed by a confusing mix of emotions. 

Cullen lingered and exhaled in a whisper a prayer against her skin. ‘Many are those who wander in sin, despairing that they are lost forever…’

His fingers caressed the side of her cheek.

‘…but the one who repents, who has faith,’

Then her neck.

‘… unshaken by the darkness of the world,’

Desire squirms in her gut.

‘…and boasts not, nor gloats over the misfortunes of the weak,’

As does disgust.

‘… but takes delight In the Maker's law and creations,’

And fear.

‘ …He shall know the peace of the Maker's benediction.’

The last of the prayer is derived against the overheated skin of her neck. As Cullen pulls back Eve draws a shuddering breath. His gaze pins her and she feels like prey under a lion’s paw. Caught between fight or flight, only there is nowhere to run and she is dizzy and weak without her mana.

The hand on the base of her neck brushes a wound and she winces.  
‘You are hurt.’ Cullen sounds convincingly concerned, though he has only just noticed her bloodied state. ‘Come, I’ll clean you up. It wouldn’t show much gratitude to Andraste if I didn’t take care of you.’

Cullen lifts her, effortlessly, and carries her through a door that leads from office to bedchamber. It is sparsely decorated like the office, cold and impersonal. Starkly different from what she knew of Templar’s quarters at Ostwick.

Cullen places her sitting gently on the edge of the bed. He finds a clean linen shirt for her to replace her bloody robes, gesturing for her to change when she just stairs at him.

‘I can’t change with you watching.’ Eve exclaims.

Surprised, Cullen turns and shakes his head as though he’s humoring her.

Quickly, not giving him a chance to peak Eve sheds her out layers and pulls the shirt over her smallclothes. Though it falls shapelessly to her knees she feels unpleasantly exposed when he turns around.

Eve is jittery and on edge while Cullen cleans her cuts with cool clean water, the coats them in elfroot salve. Though she must admit he is gentle and careful.

‘Do you not know any healing spells?’ Cullen asked as he tended the worst cut, on her upper arm.

Eve shock her head.

‘How did you get so injured?’ He asked.

Eve held a breath, unsure what to say. ‘Fighting demons and malefica.’ She said. After all, it was the truth.

Cullen gave her an assessing look as he stood with the dirty water and cloth he’s used. ‘Then maybe Andraste brought you to me for your sake as well.’

Eve looked up at him in surprise.

‘It’s getting late,’ Cullen observed, glancing at the darkened sky visible out the small window. ‘I’ll bring you some food.’

He leaned forward to press a kiss against her hair and says sternly ‘Don’t go anywhere.’


	2. Maker, my enemies are abundant

Maker, my enemies are abundant.  
Many are those who rise up against me.  
But my faith sustains me; I shall not fear the legion,  
Should they set themselves against me.  
-Trials 1:1

Eve lay in the templar’s rumpled bed and bleakly contemplated the ceiling. Knight Captain Cullen had left some time earlier that morning, leaving a tray of food for her which she hadn’t touched and the door locked behind him. 

She hadn’t bothered to try the door again. She had fallen upon it last night as soon as she heard Cullen’s footsteps fade, tugging it desperately and throwing her shoulder against it until she collapsed sobbing. He had returned to find her a weeping mess on the floor, scooped her back onto the bed and tried to comfort her with reassurances that he would look after her now. Once her tears had run out he had fed her spoonfuls of stew like she was a petulant child then tucked her into bed. 

Despite her fears he hadn’t hurt her or forced himself upon her, but cradled her gently against his chest in the darkness and stroked her hair while reciting the canticle of trails like a lullaby. Slowly, she’d let herself be soothed. Eventually all of her weariness from the desperate fight through Redcliffe Castle overcame her and aching limbs relaxed gratefully into sleep. 

She’s woken when his warm arms slipped away from her in the early morning, as the sun started to light the tiny patch of sky outside the window. She had pretended to sleep as he dressed, as he left the tray and whispered her a promise to be back soon. 

Now there was nothing for her to do in the tiny room, but contemplate. 

After another hour passed she tired of inactivity and did eat the bread he’d brought while pacing the room and trying to come up with a plan. 

The door was out of the question, her magic would have no effect on the lock or the hinges. While she could burn through the thick wood she would first suffocate herself. She could freeze and shatter the glass in the window, but was doubtful she could fit through.

When Eve peered out the narrow gap in the stonework she sagged with defeat. They were so high up, and they looked to be out in the bay, an expanse of water between her and the cliffs of the city. If she could escape this room, and the Knight Captain, how would she get across to the city? She had never been to Kirkwall before, where would she go? Was help even out there? 

Eve collapsed back on the bed and hugged her knees to her chest. She felt like crying again, it seemed so hopeless. But giving up and wallowing wasn’t what the Herald of Andrate did, or Lady Trevelyan for that matter. She had to try, she couldn’t stay here with this Cullen who frightened her or in the most notorious circle in Thedas. Dorian could be out there in that city looking for her, and they had to get back to the correct time before their presence here messed anything up. Maker, she didn’t even know when it was.

The first thing to do, Eve decided, was to try and arm herself with information. She’d ask Cullen ask much as she could without making it clear she wished to escape. She had no choice really, he was the only person she knew in Kirkwall besides- besides Varric and Hawke! 

Eve almost wanted to jump and cheer at her revelation. Of course Hawke would be her best chance of help, if the spunky young woman had done half the things Varric’s book said then she could help Eve hide and find one Tevinter mage in a city the size of Kirkwall. 

Not that she actually knew Hawke, but she knew Varric and that was close enough. 

When Cullen returned around mid day Eve had freshened up in the small wash room and brushed and styled her hair out of boredom. She had also been through all of his draws and tidied his things. 

‘You have been productive.’ Cullen commented and handed her a bundle of clothes he’d brought to replace the shirt she’d slept in . 

Eve accepted the clothes with a polite smile. ‘Would you be so good, Knight Captain, as to step out while I dress?’ 

He bowed and left her to change.  
The clothes were floor length robes with a bodice that hugged her figure and skirts that swirled around her legs and soft soled slippers. Like mage robes in all circles, it was an ensemble ideal for reading in the library, bright and colourful to stand out against stone walls and impractical for any kind of running or escaping. It had been more than a year since Eve had dressed in robes like these. 

When she turned the doorknob the door swung out of her hand and Cullen stepped forward blocking her path. His eyes traveled over her and she fought not to cross her arms defensively across her body. 

‘Are you going to take me to the First Enchanter now?’ Eve asked. 

‘Why would I do that?’ Cullen asked with a frown. 

‘Because I’m a mage and I have to join the circle?’ 

Cullen stepped towards her and cupped her cheek with one hand. ‘No, a delicate thing like you Eve? They would break you and ruin your goodness. It’s better that you stay here, where I can protect you.’ 

‘You mean to keep me here, confined to this one room?’ She asked in shock, she had almost gone mad that morning. ‘But what if I want to read a book, or go for a walk, or talk to someone!’ 

‘It doesn’t matter what you want.’ Cullen said sternly. ‘You are a mage. You can’t be trusted to make decisions for yourself. That’s why the chantry looks after you, that’s why the Maker brought you to me.’’ 

At the hard look in his eyes Eve stepped back in fright, only to find both his arms on her waist now, holding her in place. 

‘Who ever had charge of you before failed you and allowed you to be in harm's way. I won’t make the same mistake.’ He placed a finger under her chin and mader her meet his gaze. ‘Do you understand?’ 

Eve nodded mutely. 

‘I had brought up some lunch for us to share, but I think it would be better if I left you to think about things.’ Cullen stepped away from her. ‘I’ll be back this evening.’ 

And Eve found herself alone again.


	3. Magic exists to serve man

Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him.  
Foul and corrupt are they  
Who have taken His gift  
And turned it against His children.  
They shall be named Maleficar, accursed ones.  
They shall find no rest in this world  
Or beyond.  
\- Transfigurations 1:2

When Cullen returned that evening Eve greeted him with a peace offering. ‘I want to apologise, for before.’

He looked pleasantly surprised as he moved to let her into his office where a dinner tray waited them both. 

‘I am sorry for the way I spoke, I know that you only want to look after me.’ Eve looked up at him with a shy smile. 

Her efforts paid off when Cullen’s expression became friendly and relaxed. He waved her to a seat at his desk and took the other opposite.

‘I must admit I was surprised, haven’t you lived all of your life confined to a circle?’ Cullen asked serving the food.

Eve swallowed all of the things she wished to say in response. ‘My circle may have allowed me too much freedom.’

‘That sounds very dangerous.’ Cullen frowned. 

Lowering her eyes to her plate Eve bit into her food with enthusiasm she didn’t feel. 

The silence lay heavily over the space between them as they ate. Eve searched for a topic to broach, determined to follow through with her plan. Whenever she looked up at Cullen she found his eyes on her, with a slightly too bright too intense look and her words dried up in her mouth. 

‘Are you frightened of me because I am a Templar?’ Cullen asked after watching her take peeks at him for some time. 

‘No,’ Eve admitted. ‘But because this is Kirkwall. It’s Templars have a reputation.’ 

‘You don’t need to fear me.’ He said softly. ‘I won’t let anyone hurt you, and I’ll only use my abilities against you if you make me.’ 

Cullen held his hand out to her and beckoned her around the desk into his lap. Despite her reservations and the cold hard metal of his armour she let her cheek fall against his chest as he stroked up and down her back. 

‘I promise my treasure, I will keep you safe.’ 

Listening to the reverberation of his voice through the steel plate Eve considered what she knew of his personal history from their conversations at Haven. 

‘How long have you been a Templar?’ She asked. 

‘Oh, about eight years.’ Cullen answered tiredly. ‘But I was in training since I was thirteen. How long have you been a mage?’

‘Since I was ten.’

‘Do you remember your family at all?’

Eve didn’t catch herself before she giggled. She could feel Cullen’s questioning gaze on her.

‘I used to see them quite regularly. The Knight Commander, my Uncle, would take me to the weekly service at the chantry. I would spend the day with my family afterwards.’ She explained. 

‘That does sound like too much freedom.’ Cullen frowned. 

Eve considered her next words carefully. ‘Cullen, could you bring me some books to read? I fear I may be lonely while you are away.’ 

‘I suppose I could.’ Cullen mused. ‘Once I can change my schedule, I can spend more time with you too.’

Eve relaxed against his chest. Perhaps so long as she pleased him he would be reasonable. She might be able to work with that. 

‘How long has it been Cullen, since you saw your own family?’ 

‘Years.’ He admitted, making the word sound like a lifetime.

Eve looked up at him through her lashes. ‘You must be lonely here.’

‘But I have you now.’ And Cullen lifted a hand to stroke her cheek with gentle reverence. ‘Thanks be to the Maker, the one who repents, who has faith, Unshaken by the darkness of the world, shall know true peace.’

Eve let her eyes flutter closed against the intensity of his gaze, and held her breath as he tipped up her face and lowered his to press a kiss against her mouth. Cullen kissed her gently and tentatively. He cradled her face in his hands and moved his lips softly against hers. Fingers stroked her neck, her ear and twined into her hair. Her own hands lay in her lap, balled into fists when her traitorous body responded with confused shivers of arousal. When his tongue lapped gently into her mouth a breathless moan slipped past her lips and an arm snaked around her waist to crush her against his chest. 

Trapped between the cold unyielding surfaces of his armour and burning passion of his kiss Eve could only gasp and squirm. 

Abruptly, Cullen broke off the kiss and pressed his face against her hair, drawing shuddering breaths. 

‘Will you draw me a bath while I tidy up here?’ He asked. 

Nodding, she slipped off his lap and tried not to run into the bathing room as it held her escape from this, from him and her feeling. In relative solitude she pressed a hand to her chest and willed her heart to stop racing. 

Eve heard Cullen moving around in his heavy boots while she filled the bath. When he stepped into the small bathing room bare chested she gasped and stepped out with her skin flaming. 

With shaking hands and a racing pulse she changed back into the borrowed shirt and hid herself under the covers of the bed. She dreaded and longed for Cullen to join her. Dread was winning the wrestling match in her stomach when Eve heard a quiet groan through the door. She sat up in alarm, before she heard another followed by her own name, softly panted.

Relief washed over her at the realisation of what was occurring, before mortification quickly followed it. She thought her face might burn through the pillow she hid it under. Eve wasn’t a blushing maid, but she couldn’t lie there listening to a man pleasuring himself to thoughts of her. To think that Cullen was naked and wet on the other side of that door, the muscles of his arms and back moving under soapy skin- arg! What was wrong with her? He was a mage hating Templar effectively keeping her prisoner- regardless of her will!

And he was also a sweet and polite man with a troubled past, who she wanted to help heal and make smile. 

But that wasn’t here, that wasn’t now. 

Eve had effectively pushed thoughts of Haven aside and had calmed herself by the time Cullen came to bed. Though she did blush and keep her eyes firmly fixed away from him.

Sleep didn’t come as easily as it had the night before. Eve lay awake in Cullen’s arms sometime after his breathing deepened into sleep, she thought over what she had learned. 

If Cullen had been a Templar for eight years now and left the order after serving twelve years before she met him in Haven she guessed she had a little over a year before the beginning of the mage rebellion. Assuming she had judged the season correctly. 

One thing was certain; she would want to be long gone before the rebellion began. 

For the first time Eve considered that the future wasn’t set in stone. And there were days, many of them, when she wanted nothing more than to return to her life in the circle, to the time her uncle lived and watched over her. She had lived a comfortable existence of privilege and leisure, though at the time all she had seen mainly was what her sister had that she didn’t; fine dresses, suitors and invitations to parties. She knew, now, just how lucky she had been. She had never feared for her life, never been uncomfortable or wanted for anything. She had never been mistreated or anything close to the horrors some mages faced.

It was incredibly selfish of her to wish to stop the rebellion, just because her life had been better before it. And she had no idea what would happen to her if she did change history. Her younger self still lived her life in the tower; she could not knock on the door and beg admittance. They would think her a demon or blood mage. If she changed history so that she never went first forward and the back in time in Redcliffe would she cease to be?

The thought made her head hurt.

No, she couldn’t change the future. Not on purpose anyway. And it was naïve to think that the situation in circles was not a powder keg just awaiting a spark. Something else would set it off, if Kirkwall didn’t. 

Eventually, sleep came. 

 

When Eve woke to Cullen’s cries it was still full dark.

He thrashed restlessly beside her and muttered. She caught something about demons and a cry for help.

‘Cullen, wake up.’ She shook his shoulder gently ‘It’s alright Cullen, you are just having a dream.’

He half sat and shoved away her hand. ‘Get away from me.’ 

‘It’s alright, it’s me Eve. Here.’ She cupped her hand and conjured forth and tiny flame so he could see her face. 

‘No!’ 

The Silence hit her at the same time as his arm. Her breath and the spell were knocked out of her as he pinned her down with arm across her chest and his hand on the wrist that had held the flame. 

‘Cullen!’ She gasped. ‘It’s me, Eve.’

‘Eve?’ His grip on her loosened.

‘I’m sorry, wasn’t going to hurt you,’ she explained in a rush. ‘I was lighting the room.’

Cullen let go of her wrist and sagged against her. ‘I’m sorry’ he sobbed. 

‘It’s okay,’ Eve soothed and her hands flew to stoke his head where he laid it on her chest. ‘You’re safe here, I’ve got you.’

She stroked his hair until his breathing calmed and she thought he might be asleep. She was drifting off again herself when he shifted his head off her and spoke.

‘I’m sorry I hit you. I have dreams sometimes; I was at the Ferelden circle during the blight, I...’

‘I know.’

‘You know?’

Eve bit her lip in the darkness against _you told me_. ‘I know what happened then, and your accent is Ferelden, I guessed.’ 

She felt the pillow dip beside her and his breath tickled her neck as he settled beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. ‘Thank you for trying to help.’

‘You are welcome.’ Eve murmured into the pillow and drifted off to sleep.


	4. I shall endure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. 
> 
> I’m a little nervous about this chapter. Well I’m nervous about each and every chapter but more so about this one and what it contains. I feel like I’m walking a fine line between ‘too much’ and ‘not enough’ with this, and particularly so this chapter. Well, here goes nothing…

Maker, though the darkness comes upon me,  
I shall embrace the light. I shall weather the storm.  
I shall endure.  
What you have created, no one can tear asunder.  
-The Chant of Light, Trials 1:10

 

The books Cullen secured for her where an odd mixture, he included something on the history of the Chantry (she’d already read it), a few on beginner and intermediate spirit magic and healing techniques which she thought might be a hint, an assortment of completely trashy romance disguised as history mixed in with real history that made her suspect that he’d not really looked at what he was getting. 

When he’d asked her if she liked them she had said sweetly that she did. ‘I don’t suppose the library has a section on the collapse of Tevinter?’

Cullen had looked at her with surprised. ‘I don’t know, I guess I can check for you.’

‘Thank you, I’d appreciate it.’

Eve had spent the afternoon practicing her staff forms, as best she could staff-less, because she’d felt the need for excise as well as mental stimulation. She was reading now, lounging on the bed after dinner while Cullen scowled at papers on his desk.  
She was just getting into ‘tips to strengthen your barrier’ when Cullen came in and surprised her by lying down with his head in her lap.

Eve lifted her book and blinked down at him in surprise, and some discomfort. He struck her as puppy like, curled up with his frown pressed against the fabric of her robes. She hesitated and then reached to stroke his hair.

Cullen sighed and moved into her hand. Puppy like indeed.

‘Is something wrong?’

‘I can’t tell you.’ He said shortly. 'Please don't ask again.'

‘I see.’

Cullen shifted his head to look up at her. ‘I don’t want to think about it. I want to think about you.’

Eve gave her best sweet smile and tried to return her attention to the book. 

Cullen watched her for a short while before he reached up to rubbed some of her hair between his fingers. ‘Maker you are beautiful. I think you must be the most beautiful woman in the world.’

Eve couldn’t help laughing at that, which made Cullen frown.

‘You wouldn’t say that if you had ever seen my sister Annabelle.’ Eve explained. ‘Everyone agrees that she is the prettier sister.’ This was not said with any bitterness, at all.

‘I’m sure that is not true. It’s not possible.’ Cullen lifted himself up and pushed her book away to crawl over her. ‘No-one could be more beautiful than perfection.’

It was the kind of thing knights said to ladies in novels, or rouges whispered in darkened corners of parties to melt heiress's hearts. But Eve's heart grew cold.

Cullen kissed her then, with a great measure of tenderness and feeling. Eve willed herself to relax, to let the gentle movement of his lips coax hers. She ran her hands over his arms and tried to let herself enjoy the feeling on his muscles through his shirt, and she hated herself when she could. 

_Forget that this is Kirkwall_ she willed herself. And she imagined a scenario where she had invited the smiling Commander of the inquisition into the little house she was given at Haven. Maybe she’d offered him tea and chatted before batting her eyelashes at him when he stood to leave. She'd said it must be awfully cold in his tent, all alone, wouldn't he rather keep her company here? And now he was kissing and licking along her collar bones. Growing bolder and more familiar with his touch as he palmed her breast through her robes and greedily swallowed her gasps. 

His hand grasped at the material of her skirts and she felt herself tense. The heat of his arousal burned through their clothes as he rubbed the hardness against her in an experimental roll of his hips. Eve’s hands flew to his shoulders as if to push him off, or was it to claw at the material there?

When his fingers first met the skin of her leg she knew she wanted him to stop. A calloused thumb rubbed gently above her knee and she wondered what he’d do if she told him to stop.

_‘It doesn't matter what you want. You are a mage.’_

Maker, he was so much stronger than her too. She hadn't feared him last night when he was shaking and scared but she feared him now. 

‘Oh Eve,’ Cullen breathed against her neck as he shifted his hips again. 

‘Roll on your back.’ She whispered into his ear and pressed against his shoulders. 

Cullen rolled, pulling her with him to hold against his chest. Eve wiggled out of his grasp and slipped down his body. He watched her curiously until she pressed her hand purposefully against his crotch, then his eyes rolled back in his head as she started rubbing him through the fabric of his pants. They flew open again when he felt her undo the lacing that held his pants closed and reach inside. 

Cullen watched intently, with a stare that she almost felt physically as she took his erection into her mouth. 

‘Andraste’s blood! Eve, oh!’ He gasped and gripped the bedding tightly. 

Eve worked quickly and efficiently, using one hand to help apply pressure around his shaft and bracing herself with the other across his hips. When his muscles tensed in his legs and stomach she sat up and let him spill over her fingers. 

She slipped from the bed as Cullen sagged against the pillows to quickly wash her hand and rinse her mouth. 

Eve paused in the washroom after wiped away the water that dripped down her chin and tried to find the courage to step back into the bedroom. When she did Cullen was waiting for her. He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck. 

‘Mm, that was wonderful. Thank you.’ 

‘You’re welcome.’ she mumbled. 

Eve lay in Cullen’s embrace feeling like she wanted to climb out of her own skin. His fingers stroked what they could reach; neck, wrist and palm. Everywhere his fingers touched felt marked by him. 

‘I, I might have a bath.’ She ventured. 

‘Alright.’ 

She didn’t need to look at his face to know he watched her bend to collect the shirt she slept in and walk to the washroom. 

Eve allowed herself to cry, quietly, while the water was running. Then she scrubbed all of her skin until it turned pink. When she stepped out of the tub and dried she tried to pulled herself back together. She couldn’t give in, she was stronger than this.

With shoulders squared she stepped into the bedroom to find Cullen already sleeping in the dark. One candle waiting by the side of the bed. 

 

When Cullen woke that night crying out Eve was less surprised. She lifted her hand to his head a pushed sweat dampened curls from his forehead. 

‘It’s alright Cullen, I’m here.’ And maybe because he had sung her to sleep with it she begain his favorite verse of Canticle while she stroked his head. ‘Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond.’

Cullen took over, his voice rough from sleep. ‘For there is no darkness in the Maker's Light.’ And rolled to press his face against her chest. 

‘And nothing that He has wrought shall be lost.’

 

The next morning Cullen bid her farewell with an opened mouth kiss that tasted of lyrium. 

‘I will be back with lunch, and we can spend the afternoon together.’ Cullen promised her. ‘I have patrol tonight, after curfew and I thought… well I thought I might take you to the library and let you pick out your own books.’

Eve smiled in delight and reached up to give him another kiss.


	5. lights in the shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank everyone who has let me know that they are enjoying this story, especially in response to the last chapter. This chapter has something new; a peak inside Cullen's thoughts, for Arashi because she requested some insight into his motivations.

Blessed are they who stand before  
The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter.  
Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just.

Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow.  
In their blood the Maker's will is written.

-Benedictions 4:10-11

When Cullen returned as promised Eve was not surprised when it became clear that he wished to spend the afternoon in bed.

Although they trembled his hands tugged at the closures of her bodice with enthusiasm and he kissed her with more boldness than he had shown before. He quickly had her down to her smalls and shift beneath him on the bed and peppered the tops of her breasts with kisses and words she didn’t all catch, but was certain where prayers.

Cullen kissed his way up her neck and lifted one of her hands from where it gripped his bicep to slide it down his chest to rest over his clothed erection. What he wanted was pretty clear and Eve was suddenly reminded of another templar on another occasion.

_Darkhaired and with a smile handsome enough to impress even Anna, he’d placed her hand over his crotch during the carriage ride back to the tower and whispered in her ear ‘get on your knees for me’_

Eve shrugged of the memories as she unlaced Cullen’s trousers. On the other occasion she had obliged because she was young and though she was in love. Now she obliged because she felt she had no choice. And because if she upset him now he might not take her to the library, she was dieing to get out of this room.

Cullen gasped and moaned into her neck as she stroked him. He moved his body off of her and lay on his side. Alternating watching her hand and her face with half closed eyes, pupils wide with pleasure and his face flushed. Eve was glad he didn’t physically shove her face towards his crotch. He waited for her, and let her roll him onto his back as she straddled his legs.

When she licked the head of his shaft artfully he cried out. ‘Sweet Andraste!’

His hands fluttered around her head before resting in her hair. He didn’t push down and he didn’t grip too tightly. 

Eve took him into her mouth and began to bob her head up and down. She watched him pant open mouthed, gazing at her in wonder. As the muscles of his stomach flexed and his body blushed pink she picked up her pace, using her hand to help apply pressure.

‘Eve, oh Maker, Eve!’

He came in her mouth in a hot salty mess.

 

Eve passed through the halls of the Gallows like a shadow at Cullen’s side. He had draped a dark hood over her shoulders before they left his rooms and kept a firm but gentle grip on her hand. She did her best to memorize every turn and flight of stairs. 

The silence was beyond eerie. The only sound was the dull thud of Cullen’s steps. Eve had spent some time out after curfew in her own tower but it had never held this atmosphere. She wondered if she was projecting from her own fear and knowledge of this place.

When they reached the doors of the library Cullen used a key to unlock them, which struck Eve as very odd. She didn’t think the doors of Ostwick circle’s library had ever been closed, let alone locked. At least the library was full of books, as a library should be.

Eve wandered the shelves, candle in hand, to get familiar with the layout. There were two things that she was interested in. The first she knew was probably a long-shot; anything that may give her a clue about the workings of the time magic that brought her there. While she knew that Dorian and his mentor Alexius had worked for some time to develop their spell and she couldn’t re-create it overnight there might be something if she looked for it. The second subject Eve wished to read on was Kirkwall, maybe a nice account of the highlights of the city would do or perhaps more of Varric’s books. 

 

Cullen followed Eve trough the library at a distance. She flitted from shelf to shelf, surrounded by the glow of the candle, floating on a warm island of light in a vast ocean of darkness. After a time she seemed to lose herself in her task; he watched her lean with her hip against a shelf while she skimmed a book, her sweet face pulled into a look of deep concentration. 

He was glad he had brought her here. He wanted to make her as happy as he could. 

Eve was the answer to the un-spoken longing in his heart; for years he had battled in the Makers name to try and restore order over chaos. It had been a lonely time for him in Kirkwall, far from everything he had known as home. But the Maker had been watching him fight against the darkness all this time and just as his faith waivered, just as Cullen wanted to give up hope, seen fit to reward his loyal templar.

And by Andraste Cullen swore he would protect Eve, who had fallen from the Maker’s hand into his keeping, at any cost. She seemed an intelligent young woman, one who took seriously the responsibility of controlling her abilities and resisting the lures of temptation, the kind that needed to be kept from the corrupting influence of other mages. All too often that happened, one malefica or blood mage spread their poisonous influence trough a circle. Even if she fought him at first, she would come to see that what he did was for the best.

Cullen took their recent intimacy as a sign of Eve’s growing trust and affection. She had been a little jumpy at first, a little shy, but now she was opening up to him. He watched her bite her lip in thought and his mind flew to how that sweet mouth had wrapped around him, how she had looked, bright eyes gazing up at him through long lashes as her cheeks hollowed. His fingers in the glossy strands of her hair. 

Cullen shifted uncomfortably in his unforgiving armour as he felt himself harden. He tried to shake those thoughts from his mind, now was not the time or place. 

 

Closing the book that had been her last hope for learning about the magic in Tevinter Eve huffed. It was all the same useless stuff and none of it worth reading, everything on Tevinter dealt in history and moral judgement. She should have known better than to hope a Circle would provide mages anything else. 

The night had not been a complete waste of time though, by the time Cullen approached her and told her they were to return she had a small mountain of books she wanted to take back with her. 

‘You can only take back what you can carry.’ He frowned.

It took a little umm-ing and ahh-ing, but Eve settled on taking the texts that might explain the methods behind the creation of objects like the amulet that focused the time spell and Hard in Hightown. 

Holding the bundle against her hip she let Cullen guide her back through the halls. She wondered if there were other Templars around and if there was a chance they might run into them. Eve looked up at Cullen, he seemed serious and stern in the shadows. He hadn’t told her not to talk, but didn’t speak to her either. 

Eve tugged on his arm slightly and his attention was immediately on her.

‘What is it?’ He asked softly.

‘Are there others on guard tonight?’ 

He nodded, ‘But they should not be on these floors.’ 

‘How do you know?’

‘I set the schedules.’ 

They continued on their way, though the atmosphere felt less oppressive. 

It was a strange to return to Cullen’s room; both oppressive to have the door close behind her and welcoming to fall into the bed yawning, odd to be gathered against the warmth of Cullen’s chest. 

‘Thank you for taking me with you tonight.’ Eve whispered, idly tracing lines along the muscles of his arms trough the shirt he slept in. 

‘It was my pleasure.’ 

‘I think I would have been very lonely here, without you tonight.’

Cullen didn’t respond, though she could tell he was still awake Eve didn’t add anything further. She closed her eyes and let herself fall asleep.


	6. Each night in dreams

Then the Maker said:  
To you, my second-born, I grant this gift:  
In your heart shall burn  
An unquenchable flame  
All-consuming, and never satisfied.  
From the Fade I crafted you,  
And to the Fade you shall return  
Each night in dreams  
That you may always remember me  
-Threnodies 5:7

Eve pondered Hard in Hightown while waiting for Cullen. The light from the window told her it was some time past mid-day and he was late. This made her irritated; in the time that she had been here he was nothing if not punctual. He always returned when he said he would. Eve was unsure if her annoyance just stemmed from her continued confinement to this room or the thought that something had distracted Cullen from her. When she heard the sounds of him returning and unlocking the door she sighed with relief and closed the book. She greeted him sitting up at the end of the bed with a frown.

‘You are late.’  
‘I’m sorry.’ Cullen dropped a kiss to the top of her head. ‘I had to go into the city, but look I got you something at the market.’

Eve huffed, looking away and crossing her arms as he held a small parcel out to her. She wanted to scream and shout at him, and stomp her foot like a child who hadn’t gotten their way. It had been five long days and she was fed up and impatient.

Cullen looked disappointed. ‘I’m sorry I was back late, I didn’t mean to neglect you.’

‘You didn’t neglect me, you are keeping me locked up in here!’ Eve snapped.

Cullen’s expression became stiff and closed off. ‘It’s for your own good.’

Eve knew what she had said wasn’t productive. She sagged and felt her anger drain away, leaving her feeling tired and overwhelmed. To her annoyance tears welled in her eyes.  
‘Oh Eve,’ Cullen cupped her cheek and wiped at the tear that ran down it. ‘It’s all going to be okay, you’ll see.’

A sob rose in her throat at that. How could it be okay? She was never going to get out of Kirkwall.

‘I just want to go home.’ Eve admitted as more tears escaped to run down her face.

‘Shhh, there there.’

Cullen lifted her and gathered her into his lap. She cried softly against his chest plate while he rubbed soothingly in circles on her back. When her tears dried up and his armour became uncomfortable and cold under her cheek she lifted her head and wiped at her eyes.

‘You should come eat your lunch.’ Cullen said trying to shift her.

‘I’m not hungry.’ Eve sulked. She heard Cullen’s sigh through his armour.

Shifting them back on the bed Cullen tried to arrange them into as comfortable pose as possible around his armour. He reached for the package he’d brought her again and put it in her hands.

‘Open it.’ He nudged.

Eve unwrapped parchment and found a collection of sweets. They were the kind of dainty delicacy, both decorative and decadent, that ladies sampled in parlours with tea and scandal. Eve was reminded of her mother and of summer afternoons spent in a tea room that overlooked the streets of Ostwick city. She lifted a pink candy to her lips and when she bit it her mouth was flooded with the taste of rosewater. She moaned softly and licked her fingers.

‘Do you like them then?’ Cullen asked.

Eve nodded.

He rubbed her arm soothingly and shifted her of his lap. Eve watched him quickly shed the layers of his armour while she popped a nougat in her mouth. He was quick and efficient in unbuckling the layers and soon slipped his arms back around her in his under shirt. Eve climbed into his lap and let herself be soothed by the warmth of his arms.

Cullen pushed aside some of her hair and kissed her temple. ‘I’m sorry I left you for so long.’

‘I’m just bored and lonely here all by myself.’ Eve mumbled. ‘I’ve been reading for three days, it gets old.’

Cullen was quiet for a moment. ‘If I took more night shifts I could spend most of my afternoons with you.’

Eve peeked up at him. ‘Could I come with you when you go out at night?’

‘I don’t think that would be a good idea.’ Cullen said sternly, his tone suggesting finality.

Eve shifted in his lap, turning to face him and throwing a leg over his hips. Cullen steadied her with hands on her waist, looking down in surprise as she settled astride him.

‘I would be well behaved.’ Eve promised as she trailed her hands up Cullen’s chest. ‘I wouldn’t make trouble.’

Her lips found the skin at the juncture of his neck and worked their way along it. Eve pressed a kiss to Cullen’s pulse and shifted her hips slightly against him, pressing their bodies together.

‘Please?’

His hands tightened their hold on her waist. ‘I’ll think about it.’ He mumbled.

Eve slipped her fingers under his collar to brush at the warm skin of his back. She kissed her way up his neck to find his lips and held herself an inch from them for a moment.

‘Promise? Promise me you’ll think about it?’ She whispered.

‘Yes,’ Cullen groaned ‘I promise.’

Eve smiled and closed the gap between them. She pressed teasing kisses to his lips, nibbled at his bottom lip before she licked at it. When he tried to deepen their kiss she moved her mouth away and kissed along his jaw. She playfully scrapped at his stubble with her teeth and giggled at his groans.

Cullen’s hands stayed on her waist as he suffered her ministrations, though his thumbs did rub teasing little circles over her hips that stoked the flicker of desire in her. Eve gripped Cullen’s shoulders and rocked herself purposefully against the growing bulge in his lap. She had begun this to manipulate him but would it really be so bad if she just gave in? If she just lost herself in the pleasure for an hour? Contemplating this she rocked again when Cullen’s grip stilled her.

He pulled back from her and stroked her hair. ‘Come now,’ His voice was rough and low in her ear which made her shudder. ‘You should have something more to eat for lunch than sweets.’

‘Mmm, I’m not hungry. Not for soup anyway,’ Eve ran her hands down Cullen’s chest smirking.

‘I didn’t bring you soup.’

Eve sighed, relenting and allowed Cullen to shift her off his lap.

Eve struggled again that night, with her longing as she tried to sleep in the arms of a blissed out Cullen. She didn’t want to want him, but the smell of him, his warmth and strength and she sweetness of his smile where wearing her down. She had hardly slept when Cullen’s dreams woke her, and she slept as fitfully as him for the rest of the night.

In the morning, when she woke to find Cullen gone, Eve wondered how he got by on as little sleep has he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited for the next chapter after this guys! I can't wait to share it with you :)


	7. O Maker, hear my cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I've set a number of chapters, AND we are more that half way through this crazy ride! If you are still on board and reading this I'd like to thank you for your perseverance. 
> 
> There has been a lot of wondering about how things would work out with this story. Now that we have gotten to this point I wonder what you guys think will happen...

O Maker, hear my cry:  
Guide me through the blackest nights  
Steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked  
Make me to rest in the warmest places.  
-Transfigurations 12:1

 

Cullen sighed and put down his cards at seeing Eve’s hand. She knew he’d been confident this round but she had won, once again, with four songs. Eve collected the cards from the bed covers to shuffle again while Cullen counted over the last of his coins to her pile.

When they had started playing wicked grace the entire stack of coins had been on Cullen’s side of the bed. Eve had let him win occasional hands, but only really to encourage false confidence. He was a terrible player, with no ability to hide what he was thinking and the coppers has steadily flowed her way.

‘Play again?’ Eve asked. ‘I’ll give you a chance to win back some of your money.’

‘I don’t have anything left to bet.’ Cullen sighed.

‘You are in luck; I’ll let you bet your clothes.’ Eve laughed, repeating his words to her at the start of their game.

‘I think you are cheating.’ Cullen accused.

Eve looked at him with mock hurt. ‘Why Sir Cullen! How could you think that of me?’

He started to reach across the bed and Eve scooped up her winnings to hold them to her chest. ‘I assure you sir, I won fairly!’

‘I don’t know,’ Cullen said grabbing her leg to stop her slipping away. ‘I think I better look for extra cards hidden up your sleeves.’

‘Good luck finding them!’

Eve giggled as Cullen pinned her down and made a show of patting at her sleeves and then her sides. He moved to one side when he found nothing, and held himself up on one arm.

‘I have failed to uncover evidence to the contrary; I concede that you bested me fairly.’ Cullen admitted. ‘What do you intend to do my lady, with your spoils?’

‘Hmm.’ Eve considered this while she palmed the copper pieces. ‘I may give them to you for safe keeping and ask you to buy me more sweets at the market, if you would oblige.’

‘I’d be delighted to.’ Cullen assured her.

He reached down to stroke her cheek and kissed her softly. Eve leaned up into the kiss to deepen it but Cullen pulled back and looked at her seriously.

‘I’d do anything I can to make you comfortable here Eve, you know that don’t you?’

She nodded.

‘You mean a great deal to me, and I’ve been so happy since the Maker brought you to me. I hope that I make you happy too.’

‘You do,’ Eve assured him. She covered his hand on her cheek with her own and smiled up at him.

Cullen took a deep breath and looked at her nervously. ‘I guess what I am trying to say, is that I love you Eve.’

Eve felt her eyes widen, and because he looked at her with such vulnerability and hope she could only answer him one way. ‘I love you too.’

Cullen’s smile was happy and tender and he kissed her. Eve wrapped her arms around his back to pull him flush to her; she let the coins slide out of her hands and on to the bed around them. He cradled her head gently as he kissed her, deeply and thoroughly leaving her a little breathless as he left her mouth to kiss the skin of her neck. His hands seemed to burn hotly on her body where they clutched at her waist through her clothes and Eve squirmed with longing to feel them on her skin.

While Cullen worked delightful magic on her neck Eve reached with trembling fingers to unlace the closure of her bodice. Once it was free she wiggled against Cullen until he sat back and watched her slip the fabric from her shoulders. He helped her pull the heavy skirts down her legs and tossed them to the floor. Some of the scattered coins jangled to the floor, but they ignored them as Eve reached to enthusiastically free Cullen from his shirt.

When she had him half naked she planted her hands on his chest and held him in place as she dipped to plant kisses on his skin. Cullen panted and whimpered at that as Eve brushed teasingly over the skin above his hips.

Cullen’s breathing caught as Eve sat up and started to lift her linen shift over her head. His eyes burned along her thighs and over her waist and chest as they were exposed. She didn’t think he started breathing again until she unfastened and wiggled out of her small clothes. Cullen drew in a huge shuddering breath as she placed herself in his lap, completely naked. Cullen’s eyes roamed over her skin, he reached out tentatively to place his hand on her stomach. Eve lay her hand over his and guided it up her ribs to cup her breast. He let out a moan as he brushed his thumb over the soft skin and held the weight of it in his hand.

Eve moaned too and arched back wantonly and he leant down to gently, wonderingly, press his mouth against her skin. She moaned again and shivered in delight as Cullen’s other hand planted itself on the overheated skin of her other breast.

He pressed his face against her chest and gently explored with tongue and fingers.

‘O Creator, see me kneel;’ He croaked against her sternum. ‘ For I walk only where You would bid me, stand only in places You have blessed, sing only the words You place in my throat.’

Cullen wrapped an arm around her and brought their naked skin together. He dragged his lips over her shoulder and murmured: ‘My Maker, know my heart, take from me a life of sorrow, lift me from a world of pain, judge me worthy of Your endless pride.’

Eve lifted her hands to run them through his hair soothingly, when he pulled back she took his face between her hands and kissed him.

Running her hands down the delightful muscles of his torso Eve reached for the laces of Cullen’s pants. When they were loose she tried to push them down his hips. Cullen assisted, until all that was between them were his small clothes. And then they were gone too.

When Eve pulled Cullen down to lie above her he followed, only to pause hanging above her looking down at her with wonder as she laid against his pillows.

‘Maker, you are beautiful Eve.’

Taking his hand again Eve guided Cullen along the inside of her thigh. He brushed his fingers into to the small nest of curls at the top of her legs and gently stroked her damp folds.

‘Oh Eve,’ Cullen gasped open mouthed against her neck. ‘You are so warm.’

He slid his fingers against her, and she lifted her hips to bring his touch where she wanted it. When he probed gently into her entrance she gasped and clenched around his finger. Cullen fell on to her, kissing her face and neck and rubbing his erection against her hip as his fingers moved inside her. Eve bucked her hips in response and used her arms to pull him closer.

Cullen pulled his fingers from her and Eve sighed at the lost until he positioned his erection against her. She wrapped her legs around his, shifting to better meet him and he slowly pressed into her with deepening thrusts. Eve clutched at his arms and drew deep shuddering breaths as she adjusted to feeling of him. She had probably needed more attention beforehand but the press of his body on top of her, the way he was moving inside of her, quickly replaced any discomfort with pleasure.

Cullen stilled his hips and rested his forehead against hers ‘Are you alright?’

Words escaped her so Eve merely noded and lifted her face to kiss him. Cullen returned her kisses as he resumed his tentative rhythm, though he was soon broke off into open mouthed pants and moans against her face and neck.

Surrounded by the warm scent of him and with Cullen’s steady strokes building delightful friction Eve ran her hands through his curls and over his shoulders, luxuriating in the sensations. She arched her body and wrapped her legs higher around his hips, seeking more.

Cullen’s pace faltered slightly at the adjusted angle, only to be renewed with more vigor. ‘Oh Maker, _Eve_.’ Cullen thrust erratically into her groaning loudly into her neck as he stilled.

Eve sighed and sagged against the bed. When Cullen pulled out from her she couldn’t help a whine of disappointment.

‘What is it? Maker, did I hurt you?’ Cullen rolled himself to the side and reached to take her face in his hands.

‘No, no you didn’t.’

‘What is wrong?’

Eve sighed and shifted restlessly, her body was wound tightly and desperate for it’s own release. ‘Touch me, Cullen. I need more of you.’

She took his hand and brought it back to her center, as she pressed his fingers into her a look of understanding spread across his face.

‘Show me what to do,’ He asked. ‘How do I make you feel good?’

Cullen moved his hand as she directed, stroking in and out, rubbing in slow circles upwards against the point that made her breathing catch. Eve rocked against his hand and with her own fingers rubbed over her clit in the way that had her climbing towards her peak.

Cullen shifted over her to get a better angle, slipping his other arm under her neck. He dropped his head to lick at one of her nipples and Eve gasped. He peeked up at her to check that her sound was a delighted one and repeated his actions.

The rush of sensations caused heat to pool low in her belly and it build until Eve felt the crest of it breaking over her in a wave. She moaned softly and her back arched with the pleasure. Her own hand stopped at it’s task to grab Cullen’s wrist and hold him in place as she rode out the delightful aftershocks of her orgasm.

At length Eve rolled to press her face against Cullen’s chest and let her contentment and exhaustion still her mind and body. Cullen tried to lift the blanket to drape over their cooling skin. When he did it caused the coins still spread over the bed to fall to the floor and sing out against the stone like metallic rain. Neither of them had the energy to shift away from each other and do anything about it, so they lay together as the candles lighting the room burned low.

Cullen ran his hands up and down Eve's back in soothing and affectionate strokes. 'I love you Eve.'

She lifted her head and lazily touched the tip of her nose to his. 'And I you.'

'Thank the maker for you, Eve.' Cullen murmured. 'My Creator, judge me whole, find me well within Your grace, touch me with fire that I be cleansed, tell me I have sung to Your approval. For You are the fire at the heart of the world, and comfort is only Yours to give'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t write a full on sex scene where both parties weren’t enthusiastically into it. I tried and it just make me too uncomfortable.   
> p.s Does anyone else just stare at screen shots of robed-mages and think ‘how do you get in and out of that???’ _where are the closures?_


	8. Transfigurations 1:5 - part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of this chapter was really hard to write-not emotionally but physically because I burned the tips of my fingers on my left hand yesterday which made typing painful. I worked through the pain just for you!

With passion'd breath does the darkness creep.  
It is the whisper in the night, the lie upon your sleep.  
-Transfigurations 1:5

 

Eve sat in the bath and enjoyed the delicate scent of the the soap Cullen had brought for her as she lathered it over her skin. It was light and floral and of a far higher quality than he used himself. Although she wished to linger and luxuriate Cullen would be back soon, he had been on duty all day and only seen her for lunch, so she rinsed and climbed out. She sat on the edge of the bath wrapped in towels and began the task of drying and untangling her hair with a wide toothed comb. Perhaps she thought, as she worked out a painful snag, she could ask Cullen to get her some of the conditioning oils that added shine and manageability, her sister had used one that smelt of citrus imported from Antiva that Eve had always coveted.

The sound of footsteps in Cullen’s office alerted her to his return. She listened to him cross to the bedroom door and waited for the click of the lock, but it never came before the squeak of the door swinging open. 

She sat frozen with her hands in her damp hair. When had Cullen stopped locking the door? How hadn’t she noticed?

Eve desperately tried to remember the last time she had heard him locking it as he left, but she couldn’t quite say how long ago it had been. Days had started to run together, time was defined by when Cullen was there and when he wasn’t, now that she thought about it she wasn’t even certain how long it had been since she had arrived in Kirkwall. A week? _Two?_

‘Eve?’ 

Cullen’s gentle call through the door almost had her jumping out of her skin. 

‘Yes!’ She called out too loudly and tried to calm her voice. ‘I am just brushing my hair.’

‘Alright, well I have dinner.’ His footsteps moved away from the door.

Eve drew a shuddering breath. She needed to get out. 

For some time she had been delaying her escape attempt, asking Cullen her careful questions and re-reading Varric’s books. Hoping to convince Cullen to take her out after curfew and show her more of the Gallows. There was always a good reason to delay; an opportunity to be more prepared or a chance to improve her odds of success. But she was shaking now as she pushed forgotten tresses over her shoulder and stood to enter the bedroom. It was suddenly blindingly clear that she had waited too long. 

Steeling herself, Eve dressed quickly in the robe she had left out on the bed. She knew as much as she was going to learn, her chances weren't going to get better than this, it would have to be tonight. 

As soon as the decision had been made her heart sunk like a stone. Her eyes were pulled to the door, behind which she knew Cullen was waiting for her. 

_What was she thinking!?_ She couldn’t stay here! Could she? _No._ So what if she hurt him? Eve tried not to picture Cullen’s dejected expression as he woke to find her gone. It was nothing more that he’d deserve for holding her here against her will, taking her to bed, for trusting her and falling in love with her. For being a fool and thinking she loved him too.

Eve closed her eyes and thought of Dorian and Leliana fighting with her in the future, of Varric, Solas and Cassandra hacking through demons to get her to the breach. She thought of all her new friends and all of the people in Haven who looked to her as their only hope. The mark on her hand flickered faintly, it had been dull and silent in Kirkwall but flared as she thought of it. She had no choice really. 

With deep breaths she walked to the door and placed her hand upon it. Nothing was really changed, she just had to smile and laugh and pretend like she always did. 

 

‘You seem distracted tonight.’ Cullen commented as he took her king and won the chess game. 

It wasn’t as if he didn’t easily win. She was no match for him but it was true, her mind had been far from the game. Eve gave Cullen a smile and looked at him through her lashes. Distraction was easier than explanation. 

‘Do I?’ She asked sweetly. ‘I wonder what could be the cause.’ 

‘Do you want to play again?’ Cullen gestured to the chess board.

‘No, I have something else in mind.’ 

Eve stood and walked slowly around the desk. Cullen’s eyes widened as she skimmed fingers along the desk and up his arm. When she placed herself in his lap his hands eagerly found their way to her hips. As she kissed him, slowly and with building intensity, he roamed her back and tried to pull her closer to him.

‘Be patient,’ She cooed and kissed his chin and neck.

When Eve was done appreciating her delightful templar's torso with hands and lips she sat back in his lap and tugged on the laces at her back that held her robes closed around her. When they were loose she lifted robes and shift together over her head. 

Cullen moaned and ran his hands over her newly exposed skin. 

Eve leaned forward and breathed against his ear. ‘Take me to bed.’

Cullen lifted her easily with his hands under her thighs and eagerly lay down on the bed holding her above him. 

The rest of their clothes were quickly tossed aside. Despite the rush with which she tore off Cullen’s trousers Eve wanted to take her time with him, so she asked him to stay with her hands on his chest and kissed him slowly and thoroughly before settling over his hips to take him gradually inside her. 

As she shifted her body against his Cullen looked up at her from the pillows, hair mussed from her hands and cheeks flush, with eyes full of adoration and and wonder. Eve couldn’t bare it. She leaned down to press her forehead against his collarbone and hid from his gaze with the pretense of kissing his beautifully warm skin. 

She rolled her hip against him slowly, tensing and relaxing around him in a rhythm that had them both gasping and clutching at the other. Cullen began to buck his hips beneath her, seeking to increase their pace, praise and endearments falling from his lips in a rough voice until he could only articulate her name and groan. 

Eve dragged it out until the pleasure built and she couldn’t bare any longer to delay seeking her peak. Throwing her head back Eve sat up on Cullen to ride him in earnest. Her hands drew scratches down his chest and he hiss and begged her never to stop. Eve came gasping with Cullen’s fingers digging into her hips as he reached his own release, her name like a chant on his lips. 

When she slumped against him Cullen lifted her face to his and pressed contented, open mouthed kisses against her lips; sighing and breathing her in happily. ‘You are magnificent, my love.’

Eve turned her head from more kisses and dragged herself out of Cullen’s reluctant arms. 

‘Eve come back,’ He said holding his hand out to her. ‘I want to hold you forever.’

‘I’m just putting out the lights.’ She tried to smile light-heatedly. 

She stepped into the office and collected her strewn clothes, before blowing out the candles and closing the door. In the bedroom she quickly put her clothes in a neat pile and moved around the room blowing out the candles. She could feel Cullen’s eyes caressing her exposed skin in heavy, impatient strokes until she stood mostly in darkness. Then the only light came through the narrow window, barely illuminating anything, but she stepped easily towards the bed and into Cullen’s waiting embrace. 

With her head on his chest Eve listened to Cullen’s breathing slow and deepen as he fell into sleep. She lifted her head and looked down at his face, faintly visible in silvery moonlight. She pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek in farewell and when he didn’t stir slipped from his arms. 

She dressed quickly and quietly in the clothes she had worn before. Robes were not the most practical thing to run away in and Eve briefly considered borrowing some of Cullen’s clothes. His much bigger frame would cause them to swim on her however, so she dismissed it. She would just have to ditch the robes once she reached the city. 

With one last look back at Cullen sleeping in the bed Eve put her hand on the door knob and turned.


	9. -Transfigurations 1:5, part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. This chapter has been… interesting. Before I posted the last Chapter one I had all remaining chapters sketched out and in partial states of fleshed out and this chapter was 90% done… or so I though.
> 
> If you'd care to share I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

Eve made her way as quietly and a quickly as possible through the halls of the Gallows. She descended stairs moving in the direction that she hoped was the front of the building, towards the city. Remembering how loudly Cullen’s footsteps had rung out in the stone corridors she trusted that the sound of would give her warning of any templars coming towards her. 

A few levels below the floor that she remembered held the library Eve paused at the end of a staircase, the sound of boots told her a templar was not far away. The next flight of stairs leading down was just across the corridor from her, she stood on the last step with her heart beating wilding in her chest. Could she sprint across quickly before the templar rounded the corner? She didn’t know how long she had until she would be visible, or where the templar would be going next. Pushed a little by adrenaline she decided to run forward rather than retrace her steps, after for all she knew the templar might turn up the stairs she was standing on. Running across the corridor and down the stairs her shoes made more sound that she had intended. She reached the next level certain the templar had heard her and would follow, so she dashed along the corridor a little heedlessly only to turn a corner and come face to face with two men in armour.

Eve smothered her shriek with her hands and turned swiftly to run back the way she had come. 

‘Wait little mage!’ One of the templars moved quicker than her and grabbed a handful of her robes in his hand, halting her flight.

Eve struggled and tried to twist out of his grasp only to have the other templar step around them and backhand her across the face. Her ears rang and her eyes watered, she might have fallen if the templar behind her hadn’t taken the opportunity to grasp her by the arms and pull her tight against his chest. 

‘Well well well, and to think we were going to go all the way into the city to look for some fun.’ The templar before her grasp her chin in his hand and lifted her head to peer into her face. 

‘Saved us quite a bit of trouble,’ The other laughed. ‘Is she a pretty one?’

Feeling anger rise to replace her fear Eve met the templar’s gaze with a hostile glare.

‘Very pretty, spirited too.’ The templar gave her a look that made her skin crawl.

‘Good, the spirited ones are so much more fun.’ 

‘I don’t think I’ve seen you around before, I wouldn’t forget a face like yours. What colour is your hair in the light?’ He lifted some of her hair to peer at it, bringing it to his face to appreciate the floral scent. 

Eve jerked her head away from the templar. ‘You have no right to handle me like this,’ She said, summoning her best authoritative tone. ‘I demand you let me go.’ 

‘Good one.’ The templar before her laughed. ‘See, only we do have a right, as you are a mage out of bed after dark.’ 

‘Didn’t anyone tell you what happens to mages who break curfew?’ 

‘You let me go now!’ Eve said forcefully, her voice ringing off of the stone around them. ‘Or you will be so sorry!’ 

‘Shut up.’ The templar hissed clamping a hand over her mouth. ‘ _You_ will be sorry if you wake the damned tower. Don’t make me hit you again.’ 

Briefly, she thought to use magic against them before she realised how futile it would be. 

Suddenly, there were more footsteps behind them in the corridor and another voice called out, this one masculine and distinctively familiar: ‘Let the mage go.’ 

Eve could have wept with relief. 

The templar holding her didn’t look as he called to the person behind him. ‘Yeah yeah, wait your turn.’

‘I said _let the mage go_ , that’s an order knight.’ 

The templar before her spun around and the man holding her arms tossed her to the floor. ‘Knight Captain! Sorry sir, I didn’t know it was you.’

Eve looked up from where she had painfully landed on hands and knees to see Cullen stepping between her and the other templars. He was very disheveled, she noticed, He must have only thrown on pants and a shirt before running after her. She gratefully accepted his hand when he offered it and lifted her gently to her feet. 

The other templars watched Cullen’s careful treatment of her with curiosity, they had clearly noticed his informal dress. 

‘Did she get away from you, Knight Captain?’ 

Cullen swung his gaze on the templars with such fury that they both took a step back. ‘Neither of you are on duty tonight, get back to your quarters before I take you off duty permanently.’ 

The two templars jumped to follow the order and as their footsteps faded down the corridor Eve relaxed slightly on Cullen’s arm, until he turned his anger to her. 

‘What were you thinking?!’ He growled putting both hands on her shoulders. ‘Don’t you know? haven’t I told you it’s not safe in this circle for you?’ Then all of his anger melted away into pain. ‘I though, Eve I thought you… aren’t you happy? Why do you want to leave me?’

She looked up into Cullen’s wounded, vulnerable expression. It was more horrible as she had imagined, to see him so hurt and know she had caused it. Eve felt tears prick at her own eyes.

‘I don’t.’ She mumbled feebly. 

Cullen shook his head slowly and his face became cold and closed off, he was retreating from her and it pulled at her heart.

‘I don’t,’ Eve said more firmly, ‘I don’t want to leave you Cullen!’

She flung her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his warm chest as she started to sob because she realised that it was the truth. Somewhere along the way she stopped pretending and her act had become real, she loved him.

Cullen wrapped his own arms around her and held her tightly while she cried and she greedily took comfort from his embrace, running her hands along his back and listening to his heart though his chest. He was real and warm under her hands, a living breathing man both strong and vulnerable in her arms. Once he had been little more to her than a damaged shadow of the man she knew in Haven, but now he was more real to her than anyone she had know. 

Eve lifted her face and sought Cullen’s eyes, his gaze still held hesitance, his brow furrowed.

‘I love you Cullen.’ She said solemnly like an oath. ‘I love you and I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

She grasped the front of his shirt and pressed her lips to his neck. She kissed desperately up his neck, leaving the salt from her tears on his skin. Cullen grabbed a handful of her hair and tipped her head back to kiss her. It was a forceful kiss, Cullen’s lips pressed hers hard against her teeth before his tongue swept forcefully into her mouth. It was a sharp and hard kiss, and his hands held her face firmly in place as he bit at her lip and lathed it with his tongue. 

The firmness of his body and the urgent need in his touch left Eve with little choice but to melt into it. She let him crush them together and kiss her until her lips were swollen and chafed from teeth and stubble, hoping any measure of her compliance would help to heal the hurt she had done him. Also, she enjoyed it. His touch was setting her skin on fire, his searing kiss was arching waves of arousal through her body. 

When Cullen broke the kiss Eve could only suck in ragged breaths and follow on trembling legs as he pushed her back against the wall. He pinned her in place with his leg and kept a grasp on her head with one hand while the other traveled with urgency down her side to grasp at her curves.

‘Why where you trying to run away?’ Cullen rasped before he fixed his lips against the skin of her neck. 

‘I.. ah.’ Eve desperately grasped for something to say, overwhelmed as Cullen sucked hard at her skin. 

When her answer wasn’t forthcoming Cullen nipped her. He lifted his head to meet her eye. ‘Tell me Eve, why where you trying to leave me?’ 

She looked into his stern gaze, hurt and betrayal leaking around the edges of his authoritative mask. Pain that she had put there. ‘I just, I just miss the sky,’ she managed to whisper, ‘and people and noises. I wanted to look at the stars and taste the sea spray.’ 

Cullen frowned at her. 

‘I’m sorry,’ She choked out. ‘I am, I really am Cullen.’

‘Shhh,’ 

Cullen silenced her rising voice with another kiss, this one more controlled though still firm and demanding. As he stole her breath again he rubbed his hand over the swell of her breast through her robes. Eve gasped into his mouth as he kneaded her flesh firmly. 

‘Quite,’ Cullen cautioned, and rolled her nipple between his fingers. 

Eve bit her lip and shifted her hips to rub slightly against the thigh wedged between her legs. Cullen stilled the movement moving his hand to her hip. 

‘Don’t try and run again, and I’ll make you happy.’ Cullen whispered in her ear.

He pushed her skirts up to get his hand underneath. Shifting his leg to give him access, Cullen ran his fingers up Eve’s thigh to brush against the edge of her knickers. He pressed his thumb through the fabric to rub over her heated flesh. 

‘The Maker brought you to me, Eve. You are my gift, my reward.’ 

Pushing aside the fabric of her underwear Cullen sunk two of his finger into her, she gasped at the sudden onslaught of sensation. Cullen groaned softly as he moved his finger in her wet heat. He touched her as she’s taught him; stroking into her as he circled her clit with his thumb. There was little tenderness in his movements, he touched her with a possessive firmness; pumping his fingers into her quickly as she clenched and shook against him 

‘You are mine. You are my light in the darkness, my comfort.’ 

Rough pleasure flooded through her and Eve felt her legs grow weak. Cullen shifted them so that he was supporting her weight with his arm and leg under her hip and thigh and he continued his unforgiving pace with his fingers inside her. 

‘I won’t let you go, do you understand?’ 

Eve couldn’t find words to answer as her body tensed against him, she was writhing now with her hands tight fists on his shoulders, her teeth biting through her lip to hold back cries. 

Cullen pressed their foreheads together. ‘Eve, do you understand?’

Eve nodded. Cullen sealed his mouth over hers to quiet her sounds as she came, arching off the wall, falling to pieces around his fingers inside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, were you expecting that?


	10. Cross the Veil and the Fade and all the stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to give hugs and kisses to everyone who commented on the last chapter. I loved reading everyone's ideas about how this in going to end, it really makes me excited to write more and get this finished. 
> 
> That said, I hope this chapter is okay. I doubt it's what anyone is expecting.

Draw your last breath, my friends,  
Cross the Veil and the Fade and all the stars in the sky.  
Rest at the Maker's right hand,  
And be Forgiven.  
-Trials 1:16

 

When Eve woke it was late into the morning, the sun was high in the sky and Cullen had already left. For a few blissful moments Eve lounged in the warmth of the bed before she woke fully and remembered the catastrophe of her escape attempt last night. She groaned and pulled a pillow over her head. In hindsight she had been foolish, and acted rashly. If Cullen hadn’t woken and followed her… She had heard that abuse was common here, like killings and tranquility, the templars acted with impunity and she wouldn’t have been able to stop them. She didn’t want to contemplate what could have happened. She would have to be more careful next time... If there was a next time.

Propping herself up on her elbows Eve eyed the door. Surely after last night she had lost all of Cullen’s trust and he had locked her in again. What would she do if he hadn’t? Eve wasn’t sure that she had the strength to try and leave him again. She remembered, vividly, the combination of his pain and longing as he asked her not to try again and shivered from head to toe. 

Because she had to know, Eve approached the door with trepidation dressed in the shirt she slept in. When she held her hand out to touch the doorknob she found her fingers trembled. It refused to turn under her touch and Eve slumped against the door in defeat and no small amount of relief. Crawling back into the bed Eve pulled the blankets up around her and pressing her face into the pillows to cry. 

She wondered what it said about her that she was relieved to have choice taken from her. She wondered what it said about her that she chose, time and again, to live in cages. For when the comforts of her cage at Ostwick had been lost she had looked to the Chantry to offer a new one. What else was she seeking when she attended the conclave but for a path forward to be chosen for her? She was nothing but a pretty song bird, so tame she would eat out of her captor’s hand and with no skills to survive on her own in the wild. She might look out the window of the room at the city across the water with longing but Eve knew she wouldn’t last a day in Kirkwall on her own. 

___________

A few days after her attempted flight Eve was curled up with a book when Cullen returned at midday. She had spent her morning in the bed surrounded with blankets and pillows reading. There had seemed little point so she hadn't bothered to dress properly the past few days, putting on one of Cullen’s shirts after she bathed to lounge in the bed. 

The only time she had put on robes had been to go with Cullen to the library the previous night. He had been doting on her the last few days, spending every moment possible with her and doing whatever he could to make her happy. As happy as she could be. 

When he unlocked the door Cullen stood watching her for a moment and Eve looked up to catch a frown on his face. When their eyes met his expression cleared and he stepped across the room. He leaned over the bed to press a kiss to the top of her head before quickly working to unbuckle his armour. 

‘What are you reading?’ Cullen asked.

‘Love Beyond the Walls.’ Eve answered. ‘It has a Ferelden hero.’ 

Cullen discarded the last of his armour and climbed into Eve’s nest of blankets, pulling her against his chest. He peered at the page of her book and read it with her over her shoulder. 

‘This is terrible, where did you get this?’ Cullen asked a little disgusted. 

‘From the library.’ Eve smiled. 

‘They keep this kind of rubbish in the library?’ 

‘You will find most Circles do. But here,’ Eve flipped back a couple of chapters. ‘It has a wonderful description of Starkhaven.’ 

‘The court before the palace was paved in pink granite and decorated with neatly manicured hedges and trellises covered in climbing roses. The well dressed ladies dotted around carried parasols of pale colours to shade themselves from the worst of the mid-day sun or met under covered walkways by the riverside to enjoy the cooling breeze.’ Cullen’s tone made it clear he was not very impressed. 

‘It’s exactly how I remember Starkhaven, what I saw of it anyway.’ Eve sighed wistfully, closing the book and tossing it aside. ‘But it doesn't capture the music, Starkhaven seemed to be full of music.’

‘When were you in Starkhaven?’ Cullen asked. 

‘It was awhile ago now. I was Harrowed the same year that my sister came of age, my parents wished to take her to Starkhaven for a wider introduction to society and I was allowed to go with them, in celebration of my own achievement. However, I was of course not allowed to leave the Villa we stayed in except for my visit to the Circle of Magi.’ Eve didn’t succeed in keeping bitterness from her voice. ‘I wish I could have attended some of the parties. I would sit on the balcony of the Villa and listen to the music at night, and make do with Anna’s stories.’ 

Cullen stroked her arm comfortingly. ‘It would have been kinder of your family to break their ties with you completely, than let you see the life you couldn’t live with them.’ 

‘They didn’t do it to be cruel.’ Eve pulled away from Cullen, cheeks flushing. ‘They did it out of love.’ 

Cullen tried to reach for her warily, ‘I didn’t mean that, I only mean that it can’t have been easy for you, it might have been better not to know what kind of life you might have lived, had you not been a mage.’ 

‘Don’t feel sorry for _me_ Cullen, every mage in every Circle in southern Thedas has lived a harder life than I have.’ Once the words where out of her mouth she remembered who she was talking to. 

Eve bit her lip and watched Cullen’s expression cloud over. He frowned at her, briefly, before sighing and running his hands over his face. 

‘I know.’ He admitted.

Releasing the breath she had been holding Eve reached forward and pulled Cullen’s hands from his face. She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs and kissed his brow. 

‘I’m the luckiest mage in Thedas because I have you to keep me safe.’ She cooed. ‘And the luckiest woman because I have you to love me.’ 

Cullen kissed her and pulled her to lie down beside him. Eve followed, happy to leave the dangerous conversation for safer territory. 

Callused fingers worked their way up under her shirt and traced patterns against the skin of her hip. When she stretched and shifted against him, arching into his touch like a contented cat, they moved to explore new territory. Cullen moved his hand up her ribs and down her back in gentle strokes. He drew little circles around her belly button and barely brushed touches against the tops of her thighs.  
Enjoying the sensations dozily, Eve kissed him with languid heavy drags of her lips and sweeps of her tongue. She pulled at his bottom lip and nibbled gently, enjoying his moans. Cullen slipped his hand up her body, pushing the shirt she wore out of the way so he could cup and knead her breasts. He pinched and rolled each nipple in turn until she was the one moaning, pressing her thighs together and rocking her hips in a hungry rhythm. 

Eve chided herself for her weakness at the same time that she luxuriated in it. Whenever Cullen left her for an extended period of time she would renew her plans to try and get away from him, but his touch on her skin was enough to push thoughts of everything else from her mind. It was just easier to close her eyes and forget a world even existed outside this room, outside of the was he made her heart and body sing.

Cullen pulled himself up over her on one elbow and bent to flick his tongue against her nipple. He slipped his hand down her body to press his fingers where she wanted them. Moaning and rolling onto her back Eve wantonly spread her legs to allow him easy access. Cullen stared hungrily at where his fingers dipped into her body and gently glided over her folds. Eve found she didn’t care, she was too aflame with want for his gaze to blush or to pull his head back to hers. 

However when Cullen shifted his body downwards Eve half sat up in surprise. ‘What are you doing?’ 

Cullen looked up at her from above her thighs. ‘I want to know what you taste like.’ 

The first touch of his tongue over her was shockingly warm and wet. The second had her gasping for different reasons as he licked more slowly and watched her carefully, Cullen held her gaze with a smoldering expression and moaned against her flesh. Eve dropped back onto the bed, protests forgotten, Cullen took this as approval and lapped at her in earnest. She gasped and tried not to grab handfuls of his hair as she rolled her hips under him. Eve could feel Cullen smile against her before he pressed a finger into her and curled it inside her. 

Eve’s orgasm hit her unexpectedly and forcefully, she grabbed hold of the blankets so she didn’t pull Cullen’s hair as every muscle in her body clenched and spasmed. 

When she stilled Cullen kissed his way up her body and stroked her hair away from her face as he gathered her to his chest. ‘I though that might feel nice. Like what you do to me with your mouth.’ 

Eve reached to undo the laces on Cullen’s trousers but he brushed her hand away, she was surprised but accepted it and willingly allowed him to arrange them so her head was pillowed on his chest. Cullen stroked her hair and down her back, Eve closed her eyes and enjoyed it. 

‘Eve,’ 

Cullen’s gentle voice pulled her from her daze. She lifted her head to look up at him.

‘Would you like it if I took you into the city?’

She sat up and looked at him disbelievingly. ‘Would you really do that?’

‘It’s not Starkhaven by any measure, but I could take you to see the Chantry and the Hightown markets.’ 

‘Yes!’ Eve leaned down and pressed a happy kiss to his lips. 

 

___________

 

Eve kept a firm grip on Cullen’s arm, clad today only in linen and wool, as they walked through Lowtown. She looked up at the stone walls with wide eyes and breathed in the dusty hot air that swirled around the crowd. She gathered up all of the experiences and impressions, wanting to save them for when the walls of the Gallows would close around her again. 

‘Is it like you expected?’ Culled asked as they passed through the bazaar.

‘No, not really. Varric Thedras describes it as more colourful, resplendent with banners and pennants.’ Eve looked up at the dusty faded banners hanging over the stalls. ‘But maybe all novels romanticize things. At least he go the crowds correct.’

The crowd didn’t jossil them, as people parted for Cullen’s presence, commanding even without his Templar armour. 

He had sneaked her out of the Gallows early in the morning as the shift changed, decked out in a dress of a style popular in Kirkwall, rather than her usual robes. It was a pretty dress, if not the kind of thing she was used to wearing, and it had brought her a great deal of amusement to picture Cullen picking it out for her. 

‘It is certainly much larger and much louder than Ostwick.’ Eve commented as they gained some height above Lowtown, allowing her to look out over the docks and the grey water. ‘I almost can’t believe this is the same coast as home.’ 

‘Come, it’s a long climb and the view is much better from the top.’ Cullen tugged on her arm and she turned to follow him up the stairs. 

Eve had to pause a several times during the climb to regain her breath. She had been quite fit, for a mage, before she came to Kirkwall. Months traveling before the conclave and the trekking across the Hinterlands with Cassandra had built up her endurance but she had been doing precious little lately.

‘Are you alright?’ Cullen asked gently as they stopped again and stood to one side to let others pass around them. 

She tried to smile and pressed the cool leather of her gloves to her heated cheeks. ‘Yes. I guess I’m not used to so much walking.’ She waved off his concern and they soon reached Hightown. 

Hightown felt more welcoming that Lowtown had, decorated as it was with greenery and finer stone work. It still held something of the same character though, Eve suspected it was in the meanness of the windows and the sharpness of the old Tevinter buildings. Cullen guided her gently through it the crowd gathering in the market towards the Chantry. Eve looked up in wonder as the huge building came better into view. It dwarfed all of the fine buildings around it, save the Viscount’s keep. It was hard not to climb the stairs of the building, of which she had heard so much, and not feel a chill of premonition. The inside of the building held the same hushed atmosphere that all Chantries held, despite the grandness of the scale it was built at. 

Clearly enjoying her wide-eyed appraisal of the large figure of Andraste Cullen watched her as he guided her upstairs to a quiet corner where they could light a candle. 

Cullen found a taper and passed it to her. Eve knelt and using the flame from one of the lit candles to light the taper and then her own. She sat with her head bowed and pressed her thumb of her right hand into her left where the mark was hidden by her glove. She said two prayers to Andraste, the first was for the souls of the people who would be killed in the explosion and the second was for the wisdom to know she was doing, by not for-warning anyone, was the right thing. 

Andraste didn’t answer her, anymore here than she ever had in Haven when Eve had longed for guidance. Religion was such a large part of her family’s life and it had never been something she had questioned. Surely however if she was Andraste’s Herald as people claimed she should be give some kind of guidance, shouldn’t the right choice seem clearer?

Eve opened her eyes to watch the steady flame of her candle and though on the man kneeled next to her. She wondered if his prayer was to give thanks for her presence. He had so easily filled in the explanation of her unexplainable appearance with the Maker’s will. Something about it niggled at her, something more than the guilt of misleading him. Perhaps she should tell Cullen the truth. 

Cullen shifted to his feet beside her and Eve turned to accept his offered hand. They walked quietly out of the Chantry, when they stepped out into the sun Eve felt like she still walked in shadow.

‘Are you alright?’ Cullen asked her as they reached the bottom of the stairs below the Chantry. ‘You seem pale, do you need to sit down for a moment?’ 

Eve clutched at his hand and looked up into his concerned face. ‘Cullen...’  
The words sat at the sip of her tongue but she couldn’t speak them. She shook her head, not sure what she had been thinking. They were surrounded by onlookers, A few people were glancing at them curiously, there was no chance of privacy. 

‘I’m fine, I assure you.’ 

Looking at her like he didn’t believe her Cullen gave in and they turned back towards the market. 

As they passed under the entrance to the market he pressed a small pouch into her hand. The small coins with in clinked softly as she clutched it- her winnings from wicked grace. Eve looked up at Cullen and gave him a soft smile of affection. Though she did intend to spend her money on sweets they walked around the market first, Eve enjoyed looking at all of the colourful goods on display. She struggled to regain the sunny mood that she’d had before they went into the Chantry. 

After they passed a stall selling baubles and ribbons Cullen was approached by a serious woman in armour. 

‘Goodmorning Knight Captain.’ The woman, she looked like some kind of guard, flicker her eyes quickly to Eve before fixing her gaze on the Templar. She was clearly curious about the woman he was walking in-arm with. 

‘Guard Captain Aveline,’ Cullen returned the greeting. ‘Allow me to introduce my friend, Eve.’ 

Eve smiling politely at Aveline, schooling her face to hide any shock at hearing the name of one of Hawke’s companions. 

‘I’m sorry to interrupt Ser, I can see you are off duty, but could I have a word?’ Aveline’s eyes flicked to Eve again. It was clear she didn’t wish to speak in front of her.

Like a well mannered lady should Eve extracted herself from the conversation. ‘Do you mind if I leave you for a moment Cullen? I wanted to have a better look at that last stall.’ This was delivered with a small smile and a squeeze to his bicep where her hand was resting. 

Cullen looked from Aveline to Eve and then nodded.

‘It was lovely to meet you.’ Eve stopped herself from curtsying formaly to Aveline and left them to turn back to the stall.

Eve looked over the displayed hair ornaments and glanced back at Cullen. He stood facing away from her listening intently to the Guard Captain. As she looked down at the closest box of coloured ribbons Eve felt someone come to stand so close to her they brushed the fabric of her skirt. Weary of pickpockets Eve politely stepped to her right, with a firm grasp on the purse containing her pitiful small fortune of coppers.

‘Eve?’ The gently spoken work was accompanied by at touch to her left hand.

Surprised, Eve looked up into a face that is familiar, though she had only seen it before depicted in printed ink. A face with bright eyes, a much sharper blue in life than Varric had described, framed by choppy black hair. 

‘Quickly,’ Hawke said in a hushed tone, clutching Eve’s hand which had gone slack with shock and tugging her away. ‘We won't have long, we have to go now.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Love Beyond the Walls’ is a real book in Thedas, you can find it in Enterprise Du Lion; in one of the pools around the area with the dragons: where there is a fade rift you will find the body of a lady beside the remains of a picnic and this novel. I don’t believe it has a codex entry so I can’t share the text but it’s brilliant, well worth hunting down. I referenced it in honour of a Sebastian cameo that didn’t make the final cut in this chapter
> 
> I like to write this story sitting next to my SO while he plays through DAI (He’s been playing since January and still hasn’t finished, which is _killing me_ ). I was trying to come up with a smutty book I could use for the second scene when he was in the area. I remembered the book from my playthroughs, but not the content, so I got him to go read it for me. He humored me then went back to getting his arse kicked by dragons.


	11. Ailments both great and small

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait everyone, I didn't mean to leave you hanging!

Though stung with a hundred arrows,  
Though suffering from ailments both great and small,  
His heart was strong, and he moved on.  
\- Canticle Unknow

 

Eve wavered with uncertainty for half of a moment. It was long enough for Hawke to meet resistance as she tried to guide her away from the market and for a frown to grace the champion’s face.

‘Dorian sent you?’ Eve asked.

‘Yes.’ Hawke sighed in relief and when she pulled again Eve let herself be lead.

When she followed Hawke walked them swiftly but calmly up the stairs out of the market. Peaking back over her shoulder Eve caught a last glimpse of Cullen’s still turned back before Hawke hurried her around the corner.

Once they were out of site of the market Hawke bundled Eve into a nook between two building and into the hands of two other women, both fitting distinctive descriptions of her other companions.

‘Here she is, quickly, I’ll stand watch.’ Hawke said as she pushed Eve in with both hands firmly on her back before turning peered out at the street for signs of pursuit.

‘Hello,’ The shorter woman greeted, Elven with dalish face tattoos, as she reached to unbuckled the belt around Eve’s waist. ‘Varric said you would know who we are, do you?’

‘Uh, yes I do.’ Eve said distractedly as the taller woman with an abundance of jewelry and silky dark curls turned her and reached for the back of her dress. ‘You are Merrill and Isabell-ah! what are you doing?’

Eve’s gasp was accompanied by the sound of ripping fabric as Isabella cut through the back of her dress and ripped the rest of it away from her body. She was left in her smallclothes with just the bodies of the other women between her and Hightown.

‘Sorry sweet thing,’ Isabella tossed the ruins of her dress behind her.

‘Here,’ Merrill held out a tunic to slip over her head. ‘Arms up.’

‘Leg up too.’ Isabella said and crouched to take Eve’s slipper off and eased a pair of leggings up first her left leg and the the right.

‘That dress was a gift you know.’ Eve said, voice muffled by the tunic as they maneuvered her quickly into the new clothes.

‘Well you won’t need it now’ Isabella dismissed. She laced up the leggings and gave Eve a wink.

Merrill draped a scarf over Eve’s hair as she stepped back into her slippers. she was then pulled back out onto the street by Hawke.

‘Still clear, come on.’ The champion nodded thanks and farewell to her friends and hurried Eve further into Hightown. ‘Aveline will run diversion for as long as she can but we have to get you off the street.’

Hawke lead her through Hightown with a calm steady stride that belied the tension with which she grasped Eve’s arm, though she wasn’t sure which of them was more nervous. Every step towards Dorian was a burden lightened, yet a kind of prickling dread was forming in Eve’s gut, and growing with each step away from the market. They turned up off the street to the door of one of the fine houses. As Hawke rang the bell the door was opened by a dwarf who greeted them and stepped aside to allow the Champion to pull Eve inside.

A number of anxious faces awaited them in the entrance of Hawke’s house, however Eve barely looked past the handsome Tevinter who stepped forward with relief to see her.

They hadn’t known each other very long, but there was a special kind of kinship born in fighting for your lives together and she and Dorian had been through more than just that. Seeing Dorian was like a refreshing breath of frosty Ferelden air in the midst of the Kirkwall summer and Eve stepped forward happily into his embrace.

 

* * *

 

‘I followed as quickly as I could,’ Dorian explained ‘after you vanished, the spell wasn’t correctly calibrated when you fell and it may have shifted a little before I could follow taking us to slightly different locations in time and place. How long have you been here?’

‘I think, a little more than two weeks?’ Eve sipped at the cup of tea she’d been brought by Bodahn.

Dorian hummed thoughtfully. ‘We might have been brought here a few days apart.’

They were seated in the drawing room talking quietly while Hawke, Varric and Anders waited in the next room. When Eve had caught site of the apostate over Dorian’s shoulder she had frozen, feeling her tense up Dorian had breezed through introductions before whisking her away to speak privately. The others had accepted with surprising ease when Dorian announced that he and Eve needed to discuss things they couldn’t hear, she assumed they had grown used to this explanation. The only objection had come for Varric whose curiosity was clear.

_‘Come on Sparkler, what good is time travel if you can’t learn about your future?’ Varric had asked_

_‘No, we absolutely can not risk it.’ Dorian had said firmly._

_‘Ah, you’re no fun.’_

‘Hawke and I have been combing Kirkwall looking for you.’ Dorian told her, ‘We had contacts everywhere on the lookout and had heard nothing, I was starting to worry something had happened to you.’

Touched by Dorian’s caring Eve reached across to grasp his hand and squeeze reassuringly. ‘How did you get Hawke to believe you when you told her you were from the future?’

‘Well I didn’t want to approach her directly or Mr Tethras. I knew being Tevinter wouldn’t reccomend me to them and I didn’t want to risk running into Hawke’s other friend Fenris, the former slave, as I quite like keeping my internal organs internal. I was considering what action to take when it occurred to me the best way to contact Hawke would be via her friend who was most sympathetic to mages.’

‘Anders.’

‘Yes exactly, once I had gained his trust he vouched for me to the others.’

‘The only thing is, how did you get Anders to trust you?’ Eve puzzled.

‘Quite simply my dear, I told him everything.’ Dorian said simply.

Eve stared at him wide-eyed ‘ _Everything_ everything? As in Chantry, rebellion, war and _all_?’ Dorian nodded agreement and sipped at his own tea. ‘But! You just- you told Varric that knowing the future was dangerous!’

‘Indeed and it would be for Varric because if he knew what was coming he would try to change it. Anders however, will not.’ Dorian explained.

For a long moment Eve could only sit in shock. To think that while she had felt guilty for doing nothing to prevent the destruction of the chantry Dorian had been egging on the perpetrator.

‘You encouraged him.’ She accused.

Dorian gave her a slightly pitting look. ‘Eve dearest, it has already happened. I know that here, today it seems like it hasn’t but you have to accept that there is nothing we can do. Trying to alter the events that lead us to Redcliffe would be most unwise. I don’t really want to contemplate what the result would be if we did.’

Eve sighed and sat back heavily in her chair. Nothing Dorian had said helped to lift the guilt she felt, particularly towards Hawke and Varric.

‘Have you been with Commander Cullen all of this time?’ Dorian asked.

‘Knight Captain Cullen.’ She corrected him. ‘And yes. I am afraid I have.’

‘It would have been better if you hadn’t come in contact with anyone you knew in the future.’ Dorian agreed. ‘But I trust you haven’t told him anything about future events?’

Eve shook her head in an emphatic no, which seemed to please Dorian.

‘It might not-’ He began, just as there was a knock at the door.

Eve turned to look find it was Anders who entered as the door swung open. The mage gave her a friendly smile as he crossed the room to them, though she couldn’t return it.

‘Sorry to interrupt, I wanted to make sure you were alright.’ He said this looking straight at Eve and she sat tensely, almost expecting to be able to see the spirit he carried within him. But he looked for all the world like an ordinary man.

‘I ah, thank you.’ Eve finally said when she realized he’d been waiting for her response.

‘I think you know I’m a healer of some small talent,’ Anders half-smiled, ‘If you were hurt in any way I could help you.’ When she only looked at him uneasily he lowered himself to kneel at her level. ‘You don’t need to be afraid of me. Nothing that happened while you were in the Circle was your fault, I know that.’

Unable to hold his gaze Eve looked down at her lap as she both blushed and teared up. She didn’t need the help he was so delicately offering as she'd been in no danger of falling pregnant with Cullen. If he knew though, that she had willingly dallied with templars, would he treat her with such gentle kindness?

‘I -ah I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.’ She sneaked a look at Dorian and saw he was frowning thoughtfully, not completely understanding the implications of their conversation.

‘If you are certain.’ Anders studied her for a long moment and she grew less comfortable under his gaze.

Dorian cleared his throat softly to break the silence. ‘We should discuss our plans with Hawke.’

‘Yes.’ Anders stood and with a last glance at Eve moved to the door to call Hawke and Varric in.

‘Do you still plan to leave tonight?’ Hawke asked Dorian as she sat with Anders on the settee, her hand resting fondly on his arm.

‘Yes, if Eve is feeling well rested enough. I don’t want to delay and keep you in an awkward position harboring us.’ Dorian replied.

Hawke laughed easily at that. ‘I harbour plenty of apostates, though it’s true I don’t steal most out from under the Knight Captain’s nose.

Eve watched the easy exchange feeling like an interloper. When Hawke met her eye and winked she realised she’d been staring and dropped her gaze to her lap.

Varric gently nudged her arm. ‘This must be as strange for you as it is for us, hu?’

‘Yes,’ Eve agreed.

‘Who would have thought time travel was really possible?’ the dwarf mused. ‘All I know is that if I put this in a story my editor would dismiss it as too unbelievable.’

‘Oh no, Varric.’ Eve said. ‘You really can’t put this part in the book.’

Varric gave her a shewed look.

‘Which book?’ Hawke asked. ‘How does time travel fit in with crime fiction?’

‘I only meant, Varric shouldn’t try and make this into a story,’ Eve covered. ‘When I know him, he’s always joking about making everything a book.’

Hawke seemed satisfied by this though Varric still looked at her suspiciously. Eve bit her lip and looked to Dorian who had a rather pained expression.

The sound of the bell at the door rang through the house.

‘It’s a little soon for Isabella and Merrill to be done.’ Hawke frowned.

‘What were they doing?’ Varric asked.

‘They were leaving a trail for the Knight Captain,’ Hawke said. ‘Leading away from us, making it look like Eve met an unpleasant end in Darktown.’

Eve jumped out of her seat and they all turned to look at her. ‘No! You can’t, you mustn't do that!’ Their plan was to have Cullen believe her dead, dead because she had tried to escape _him_. such a thing would surely destroy him.

Dorian was quickly beside her with a hand on her arm. ‘That might cause some problems.’ He said.

Eve turned away from the group to hide her tears as Hawke jumped in to question what Dorian meant. Before he could respond they all heard the sound of footsteps outside the room and fell silent.

‘Messere?’ Bodahn called.

Hawke crossed the room quickly to speak with him. ‘What is it?’ She asked as she opened the door.

‘I am afraid that Guard Captain Aveline is here.’ He said. ‘And with her is the templar Knight Captain, they have asked to speak with you.’

The room was very tense as Hawke absorbed this information ‘Very well,’ She said. ‘I’ll speak to them.’ She glanced back at looked from Eve to Anders. ‘Everyone just _stay_.’

The door closed behind the champion Eve felt the eyes of all three men turn on her where she stood dashing tears from her cheeks. Cullen was here, looking for here, worried for her and if she did nothing he’d only find a sodden bloodstained dress discarded in a drain.

Eve didn’t wait very long to think. She dashed past Dorian to the door and before anyone could stop her she’d wrenched it open and followed after Hawke.

Cullen was standing in the entrance way beside an angry looking Aveline, concern was written deeply across his features as he politely requested the champions assistance in a search party. When he spotted Eve over Hawke’s shoulder he stopped mid sentence and his mouth fell open in shock. She moved quickly towards him and he stepped around Hawke gather her in an embrace. Eve pressed her face into Cullen’s chest and wrapped her arms around his waist just as tightly as he held her.

‘Eve,’ Cullen pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. ‘I was so worried for you, I though-’

‘I know,’ She cut him off. ‘I’m so sorry Cullen. I wasn’t in any danger, I was with Hawke the entire time.’

‘I can call the search off then?’ Aveline asked relieved.

‘It looks that way,’ Hawke agreed, not as happy as her friend.

Eve felt the tension in Cullen’s arms as he looked behind her and she knew that Dorian, Varric and Anders had followed her.

Before anything could come of the angry looks that were tossed across entrance hall Dorian stepped forward to intervene. ‘This is a strange situation, but there is no reason we can’t settle this in a civilised manner.’ He turned to Hawke and smiled apologetically. ‘I may have neglected to tell you that we are working with the Knight Captain.’

‘I’m sorry, do I know you?’ Cullen asked tucking Eve protectively into his side.

‘No, not yet you don’t.’ Dorian said.

‘Cullen,’ Eve tugged at his shirt to draw his attention. ‘I need to tell you something. I need to explain everything’

 

* * *

 

‘I wasn’t brought to you by the Maker.’

Eve twisted her hands nervously in her lap, unsure of how he would take what she said. The advice Dorian had tried to impart with a heavy look as she lead Cullen into Hawke’s drawing room had been clear; not to say anything that would lead Cullen to change his future. Cullen sat silently beside her though he did frown as she spoke, summoning all of her courage she continued.

‘I was brought to Kirkwall when a spell went wrong, a spell that was meant to take me to a different place and to a different time.’ She watched his frown deepen. ‘Dorian and I had gotten slightly displaced in time and we were trying to return to the year 9:41.’

‘What?’ He asked softly, shocked.

‘That’s _when_ I am supposed to be, 9:41. We were trying to get there, Dorian was reversing the spell that initially sent us forward to 9:42 but, ah, it was a tight situation...I’m sorry there is a lot I can’t tell you because it would be dangerous for you to know too much.’

She sighed and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. It was harder than she’d expected to find the words. Cullen was frowning wearily at her now and she feared she’d already blundered irrevocably. Her heart clenched with pain.

‘Please say something Cullen.’

‘You are going to tell me next that you have to go back, aren’t you?’

Eve nodded solemnly.

‘Stay with me.’ Cullen said fiercely, suddenly grasping her hands tightly and leaped off his chair to kneel over her lap. ‘Stay with me and I’ll give you whatever you want, you won’t have to come back to the Gallows with me; I’ll buy you a little house and visit you every day. Just please Eve, stay with me. I can’t lose you forever.’

‘Oh no, no you won’t!’ Eve cupped his face in her hands lifted it so she could meet his eyes. ‘It won’t be forever, just a few years. You see, I know you in 9:41, I’ll be going back to you. We can be together then, it will be easier than here.’

‘How?’ Cullen frowned. ‘How can we ever be together when you are a mage and I am a templar? The only way is if I hide you from the circle.’ His frowned deepened as a new worry struck him. ‘Please tell me you are not here, that you’re not in this circle.’

Eve bit her lip and considered carefully. ‘No I’m not. When we meet again Cullen, you aren’t a templar anymore.’

She watched him while he absorbed this, His frown lessening as something like hope lit his eyes.

‘I know, that for a while after what happened at Kinloch Hold you forgot that mages where people.’ Eve said softly. ‘But you remember now. It’s not too late to do what you know is right. It’s not too late for you to change things.’

‘To stand against Meredith.’ He said solemnly.

Eve nodded. ‘Every step to take away from Meredith and away for the order will bring you closer to me.’ She said solemnly. ‘Then follow the Seeker, she will bring you the rest of the way.’

‘You promise?’ Cullen asked. ‘Your promise that we'll be together again?’

‘I promise.’

Eve leaned down to kiss him. He met her lips fiercely, kissing her like it might be the last time. He scooped her up off of her seat and pulled her down into his lap, wrapping her tightly in his arms. The kiss grew heated quickly and she gave herself over to it wholly, saving up the feel of his hands urgent on her back and waist, of his mouth soft against hers and his stubble rough against her neck.

‘I love you,’ Cullen rasped against her ear. ‘I love you.’

  
When he rolled them to lay her on the rug she tore as eagerly as him at their clothing before grasping at his shoulders and pulling his mouth back to hers. Cullen cradled her head in his hands and held her gaze as they came together. He made love to her gently, with lingering deliberate strokes and a touch that edged on desperate where he grasped her waist or her shoulder. They muffled their sounds against the other’s shoulder or mouth, breath mingling in long open mouthed kissed. Cullen’s fingers twisted into her hair as he came, tight almost to the point of pain and Eve felt a sob rise in her throat as her own pleasure crested and tears spilled down her cheeks.

 

* * *

 

It was strange to put back on the armour she’d worn to Redcliffe and sling her staff over her back. Eve felt as though a huge amount of time had passed since she’d last played at being the Herald of Andraste, running around trying to save the world. It would be odd to return to that after this interlude.

Cullen had fetched the things he’d taken from the Gallows and returned them to her. Arriving back at Hawke’s door once again dressed as the Knight Captain. He was waiting now, down stairs with Hawke and Varric to see her and Dorian leave.

Anders had made himself scarce hours earlier, while she and Cullen talked.

There was a soft knock on the door of the guest room she was borrowing and when Eve called for the person to enter Dorian came in, also once again dressed in the robes he’d worn in Redcliffe.

‘I just wanted to have a word before we go down stairs, give you a warning.’ Dorian said. ‘I would have mentioned this earlier but we were interrupted.’

‘What’s wrong?’

He waved his hands at her frown. ‘I don’t want to alarm you, just something you should be prepared for. This time magic, there is something I’m not certain about. I’ve been thinking about how you described your experience with Fiona, the long and short of it is that I’m not certain that any of our new friends will remember our time here.’

Shocked, Eve sat down heavily on the bed. ‘You mean...’

‘Yes,’ Dorian said gently. ‘Commander Cullen might not remember meeting you. I must admit I’m not sure if this is good or bad news for you.’

She hardly knew herself. Though she ached at the thought of him looking at her with polite indifference after everything they had been through.

‘I suspect there may be another purpose to the amulet, a second spell Alexius would have used to re-write events already past.’ Dorian explained. ‘Are you alright my dear?’

Eve drew a shuddering breath and pressed her face into her hands. He might not remember her. It might be like none of this had ever happened.

'I'm by no means sure about this, it's just a possibility you should be prepared for.' Dorian said gently. 'I don't want to rush you, but we really shouldn't delay.'

'I know.' With a strength of will she wasn't sure she had left Eve collected her self and stood, stomping down fiercely on her own worries. 

Dorian opened the door and gestured for her to lead the way. She felt his careful gaze on her all of the way down stairs.

They interrupted what was surely a very awkward small talk between Hawke Cullen and Varric with their entrance.

‘So this is it.’ Varric remarked. ‘The end of this crazy story. ’

‘More or less.’ Dorian said dryly and produced the amulet from his pocket. ‘I’d like to thank you both for your assistance and your hospitality. You will pass my thanks on to Anders?’

‘I will.’ Hawke agreed smiling.

When Eve said her farewells Varric and Hawke both stepped forward to embrace her.

‘I look forward to learning how we meet.’ Varric said.

Eve accepted his hug with an easy smile. ‘It’s quite something, I promise you that.’

When she turned to the champion it wasn’t as easy. ‘Thank you, for everything.’ Eve said. When Hawke pulled her into a friendly embrace she whispered low enough that only the other woman heard her words; ‘Sorry, for everything too.’

Lastly, Eve turned to Cullen who stood stiffly only showing his concern in his gase. Eve cupped his cheek with one hand and pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth. He didn’t say anything but lowed his forehead to rest it against hers for a moment. Their wasn't anything left to be said between them, she knew everything he felt and it would do no good for her to share what Dorian had told her. It would only make it harder to leave.

With one last stroke of his cheek Eve stepped back and turned to face Dorian. The mage razed and eyebrow in question and she nodded agreement. Eve moved to his side and looked back to Cullen as Dorian began to cast the spell.

Eve didn’t take her eyes from Cullen, burning the way he looked at her into her memory, until the last moment when Kirkwall dissolved around her in green sparks.


	12. But know that the sun always rises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure we'd every really get here, but look! the last chapter.
> 
> A big, big, BIG thank you to everyone who has reviewed, because I don't think I would have ever gotten here with you ;-)

The deep dark before dawn's first light seems eternal,  
But know that the sun always rises.  
\- Canticle Unknown

Eve set a pace for their return Haven that pushed even Cassandra’s enthusiasm. She let the Seeker and Blackwall think she was eager to report on recruiting the mages and the assassination plot against the empress. She and Dorian had agreed not to share the full details of their time travel adventures and hadn’t mentioned their visit to Kirkwall.

When the group stopped briefly to water their mounts at a stream Dorian took the opportunity and cornered her away from the others.

‘You look like you could use this.’ He remarked holding out a flask to her.

After a moment of consideration Eve accepted, taking a sip of the brandy.

‘How are you holding up?’ Dorian inquired.

Not really wanting to talk about it Eve re-sealed the flask and pushed it back into Dorian’s hands.

‘Thanks Dorian.’ She muttered turning back to fiddle with her horse’s tack. She heard him make an exasperated sound and walk away.

As they arrived in Haven Eve sat up in her saddle and scanned the area nervously. Everything looked mostly as it had, tents in order outside the walls with the troops hard at work training. The sound of hammers hitting steel rang out from the blacksmiths. However she didn’t catch sight of Cullen in his red cloak walking between the lines of troops.

They dismounted, Dorian tried to catch her eye as she turned away and followed Cassandra through the gates. Varric wasn’t present at the campfire beside his tent as they rushed past. The knife of anxiety in Eve’s chest twisted a little deeper.

In the Chantry the door to the war room was closed but the mumble of voices was just audible as they approached. Cassandra pushed the door open and Eve followed through behind her, tentatively.

When the seeker stepped to the side allowing her a view of the advisers at the war-table Eve fixed her gaze on the man across the table. Cullen looked up from the map to catch her staring at him and her breath caught in her lungs as he pinned her in place with a look so heated she felt his gaze physically like a lick of flame along her spine. All of her nerves melted away, to replaced by tension of another kind.

That look told her everything she wanted to know. He remembered her.

 

Cullen tried to remain focused on the conversation around the war table, but it was nearly impossible when he knew this was the day that he’d been waiting four years for. Eve stood across the table, looking up at him through her lashes with a delicate blush high on her cheeks. She saw him, really saw him. He longed to close the distance between them; only, the world was coming to an end around them and dealing with that had to come first.

It had been a great shock to learn that the only survivor of the conclave, found unconscious amongst the smoldering ruins and close to death, wore the face of his beloved. Cullen had looked for her in every face he saw since leaving Kirkwall for Haven. He had watched the mages that passed through the settlement for the conclave carefully, not looking only for trouble but also for a familiar smile. He’d been on-edge wondering how he would meet her, half terrified she had been a dream after all and half terrified she was real, wondering how he would stop himself from taking her in his arms and kissing her when he finally did see her. The explosion and the demons pouring from the sky had been enough to push thoughts of her from the front of his mind, until Cassandra returned from attempting to close the breach and he saw the unconscious prisoner being brought down the mountain and realised who she was.

If the world really was coming to an end, with the veil torn open in the sky above them, Cullen was at least thankful that the Maker had brought them together again. 

Watching her in Haven, waiting for her to remember him, had been difficult. Concern for her safety had been almost constant, if he hadn’t been certain Cassandra would punch him if he did he’d have taken her aside and asked her to ensure Eve’s safety in the Hinterlands.

It had taken him some time to accept that she was not defenseless in battle. Something seemed to come over her when she stood with staff in hand and a foe before her. The manner of a highborn lady fell away and she moved with a different kind of ease and grace as lightning crackled between her hands.

Cullen hadn't been prepared to interact with Eve and hadn’t know how to address her. When she first sought him out alone he had gotten carried away and spoken to her with too much familiarity before he caught himself and awkwardly apologized for talking her ear off. He hadn’t been prepared for her to flirt with him. He handled her advances as best he could, stumbling over his words and no doubt making a fool of himself. She’d asked him, bold as brass with a mock innocent smile that didn’t fool him at all, if he’d taken any vows of celibacy. He’d tried to casually answer her question while all he could think of was the last time he’d had her, desperate and sweet against the floor of the champion’s house in Kirkwall.

It was tempting, knowing she’d welcome him willingly into her bed, to take now what she offered.

There had been more than one sleepless night spent staring at the roof of his tent knowing she was sleeping a wall and a few houses away from him. He’d imagined going to her; leaving his tent and knocking softly at the door of her cottage, pushing it open before she answered and stepping inside. She’s look up surprised, perhaps annoyed at his rudeness before her expression turned triumphant and pleased as she realised who her midnight visitor was. He’d take her in his arms and kiss her just how she liked it, he’d be able to run his hands over the sweet curves of her body with familiar ease and swallow up the pleased gasps and moans he knew he’d draw from her.

There was also a nagging concern that if he avoided her flirting for too long she’d turn away from him; perhaps to the Grey Warden who watched her appreciatively.

But it seemed wrong, somehow, to make love to her before she remembered him and he wanted more from her than the warmth of her body in his bed. He wanted soft hands in his hair when he woke from nightmares and whispered words of affection in the dark. He wanted her to tell him all her fears and all her secrets and trust him to keep them at bay. He wanted to see a look of pride on her face when he told her he’d given up lyrium for her, so the Chantry held nothing over him and nothing could come between them.

So he waited, and he watched. He watched her leave for Redcliffe with the Tevinter mage, Dorian, at her side and knew the next time he saw her she’d remember. 

 

The conversation flowed around Eve as Cassandra debriefed the others, she was more than a little distracted by the handsome man watching her from across the table. She struggled to follow along, chiming in when Cassandra asked her for clarification. Inevitably her eyes were drawn back to Cullen’s.

‘Herald?’

Eve jumped as she realised the conversation had lulled and the seeker was waiting for her.

‘Is there anything you’d like to add?’ The Seeker asked.

‘No, I think you have covered the basics of the issue.’ Eve bluffed.

She now had the eyes of everyone around the table on her and she straightened her back a little.

‘Did you learn anything of the identity of this ‘elder one’?’ Leliana asked.

Eve shook her head. ‘No, not beyond their connection to a Tevinter cult’

‘This is worrying indeed.’ Josephine muttered.

Cullen cleared his throat and drew Eve’s eyes back to him. ‘Perhaps we should let the herald rest a while. Arrangements must be made for the mages and other matters addressed. We can reconvene to discuss our next move in a few hours.’

‘An excellent idea Commander.’

‘Indeed,’ Josephine agreed. ‘I think we could all benefit from a moment to collect our thoughts.’

Eve stepped to the side as the others filed out of the room. Cullen stepped around the table to place a hand at her elbow. She looked up at him and was only vaguely aware of the door closing behind her leaving them alone.

‘Eve,’ Cullen breathed, moving to gently clutch her waist and cup her cheek.

She turned into his touch and lifted her hands to rest against his armour, over his heart. ‘Cullen.’

‘Is this real?’ He asked. ‘I’ve dreamt of this moment for years.’

‘Yes, it’s real.’ Eve traced a finger down the scar on his lip and smiled when he kissed the pad of her digit.

He traced her features with a look of wonder, stroking her cheek and nose. ‘You have not changed at all. It really was just yesterday for you.’

Nodding, she looped her hands around his neck and brought his face to hers. Cullen moaned into the kiss and crushed her against his chest. Eve stood on her toes and threaded her hands into his hair. The kiss lingered as Cullen savored the taste and feel of her, gently sweeping his tongue against hers.

‘Thank the Maker,’ Cullen kissed down her jaw to her neck, nuzzling into the skin above her collarbones. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’

He walked her backwards until he had her pinned against the door and kissed her until her head spun and she longed to get her fingers under his armour, feel his skin against hers. She whimpered as Cullen broke of the kiss and rested their foreheads together.

The sound of other people drifted through the door to her, reminding her of where they where.

‘You really should get some rest.’ Cullen said. ‘Planning our approach to the breach will take a while, there will likely be arguing for hours and you’ll want your strength for resolving that.’

Eve laughed. ‘Now that you mention it I am hungry.’

Cullen stepped away from her a smoothed down his hair before offering her his arm. ‘Shall we, my lady?’

She hesitated for a moment, realising people would talk. She dismissed the thought and took his arm. They had no reason to hide here what they were to each other; he was no templar and this was not a circle, they were bound by no rules. Cullen opened the door and she walked proudly by his side out of the Chantry. It was true people glanced curiously at them, Eve smiled thinking, _let them see, let them know that he is mine as I am his._

 

‘I still don’t understand,’ Varric complained, ‘explain it again, Sparkler.’

Dorian took a sip from his mug and grimaced before trying to articulate his theory in language Varric would understand. ‘Well, the time magic only seems to affect events that occur after the point in time when the spell has been cast, and only for those who are directly pushed off course by time travel. That’s why you and Eve,’ He gestured to their other companion, ‘have different memories of your first weeks at Haven, except before we went to Redcliffe you had the same memories, and now you have experienced a timeline where we went to Kirkwall and she hasn’t. Last week our visit to Kirkwall hadn’t happened, and now it has.’

The mage gestured with his hands as if it was obvious.

Eve smirked into her mug at Dorian’s flippentry. She’d sought out her friends in the tavern for company once the planning at the war table had wrapped up. Cullen had had other matters to address and promised to find her once they were satisfactorily completed.

Varric leaned across the table to Dorian. ‘Here is the thing, why is the only differences are small things, like conversations we had and Commander Puppy-eyes, shouldn’t things have been unrecognisably different? A butterfly’s wing flapping in Orlais makes a storm in Rialto Bay and all that?’

‘No no no. You have it all wrong.’ Dorian exclaimed. ‘You are thinking about it like a stone in a pond, yes? One event makes ripples that touch everything?’

When Varric nodded his head Dorian shook his.

‘That’s not it at all. Time is like a tapestry; lots of threads with many of them running parallel and never touching. Only a few ever interact. Your thread was changed, while all the others wove the same pattern.’

‘Alright.’ Said Varric. ‘But could you really not give me _any_ warning about Blondie?’

Dorian sighed.

‘We couldn’t Varric.’ Eve said sadly. ‘We couldn’t risk changing anything that could affect the events that sent us back in time. I’m so sorry, really, for everything.’

‘Yeah, well when you put it like that.’ Varric sighed. ‘Arrg, thinking about what happened makes my head hurt. I need another drink.’

‘Ah, that would be your temporal-dissonance, from having alternate events overprint your memory.’ Dorian explained.

‘The way you talk, Sparkler, doesn't help. Does Curly have disso-dance, or what ever, too?’

Eve nodded. ‘I think so but it doesn't seem to worry him as much.’

‘Come on Kitten, what actually happened between you and Curly?’ Varric asked. ‘He was a stern serious mage-hating templar before you came along, you bat your eyes at him and he’s wrapped around your pinky-finger.’

Eve shook her head laughing. ‘Sorry Varric, that’s not ending up in your book.’

‘I’m glad that everything has worked out. It’s good to see you smiling.’ Dorian said.

Eve nudged Dorian’s shoulder playfully. ‘What was all that about a second spell?’ She asked.

‘I said it was a _possibility_.’ Dorian sniffed. ‘I’m still not convinced that the amulet didn’t have a second effect. But I’m glad to be wrong if it makes you happy.’

Eve beamed at her friend and had another sip.

‘So the Herald of Andraste tames the mage rebellion, saves the day and wins the heart of her templar.’ Varric remarked. ‘A fitting ending.’

‘I don’t think this is the end.’ Eve shook her head. ‘We still have to try and close the breach. Then who knows.’

Dorian nudged Eve’s shoulder and gestured to the door where Cullen had just entered and was scanning the room. Eve jumped out of her seat and waved to him. Cullen smiled happily at her and gave a shy wave back.

‘I’ll see you both tomorrow!’ Eve called back to her friends as she skipped towards the commander. He greeted her with a fond smile and offered his arm to lead her out into the falling twilight.

In the little cottage on the edge of Haven’s village Cullen paid worship to the herald of his heart in the best way he knew. Curled up before the fireplace, in a nest of blankets and furs he slowly peeled the layers of her clothing back and thoroughly kissed each new inch of her skin exposed to the firelight. Each movement of his lips and tongue traced a prayer of thanks against her skin, the prayer that his heart had always sung when he held her in his arms.

He held no doubt she had been chosen by the Maker’s bride to save the world, and to save him along the way.

Eve’s skin, a little flushed from the drink, soon grew rosy and warm under Cullen’s hands and mouth. She returned his touches, tracing new scars along his skin and measuring the feel of his muscles against her memory. The pace of life with the inquisition must have pushed him even harder than Kirkwall had because she found the muscles of his abdomen were cut even sharper under their dusting of golden hair. She enjoyed mapping them anew with her mouth.

When she was writhing with pleasure from his hands and mouth Cullen pulled her into his lap. Eve straddled his hips and sank slowly down onto the length of him, sighing happily at the hot press of his body. Cullen held himself up with one arm so he could kiss her, using the other to guide the slow movement of her hips against his.

Her hair fell around their faces as Eve held onto Cullen's shoulders and peppered his face with kisses. She rocked against him at a slow teasing pace till she couldn’t kiss him any longer and merely pressed her lips to his skin and moaned.

Cullen lifted his hand from her hip and used it to cup her cheek. ‘I want to see you.’ He groaned. ‘I want you to look at me Eve.’

She lifted her head up to hold his gaze and Cullen shifted his legs out in-front of him. Using the leverage of his bent knees he thrust up into her, making her bounce on his hips. He watched her intently as she bit her lip to stifle her cries.

‘Don’t,’ Cullen panted. ‘If anyone’s listening let them hear you, let them know what I’m doing to you.’ He dropped his hand between them and stroked circles around her clit.

‘Cullen, Oh, Cullen!’ Eve let his name fall over her lips as the pleasure broke her into pieces. She dug her nails into his shoulders and he called her name just as loudly.

Eve slumped against his shoulder as all her limbs felt weak and shaky. Cullen collapsed back against the blankets, taking her with him. She stretched out and snuggled into his chest contentedly, listening to his breathing calm.

‘I love you.’ Eve whispered into his chest.

Cullen’s lips moved against her hair. ‘And I you.’

Eve luxuriated in the comfort of his arms; she wasn’t really certain what the next week would hold as they moved to close the breach, let alone the weeks after but in that moment it didn’t matter. The world could have fallen away outside, everything was perfect with the glow of their fire. Eve fell happily into sleep confident that no matter what came she would be facing it with Cullen at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what did you think?!?
> 
> And if you are interested I am writing and alternative ending. So if you want to see what Eve would do if Cullen hadn't remembered her keep a look out for that. Would it be better if I posted it as chapter 13 here or on it's own?


	13. Bonus Chapter: Let mine be the last sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this sinippit set during In Your Heart Shall Burn back in 2015, I just gonna leave it here because I don't know why I never posted it.
> 
> This is dedicated to you Sam, becasue your comment propted me to log on and find it.

Let the blade pass through the flesh,  
Let my blood touch the ground,  
Let my cries touch their hearts. Let mine be the last sacrifice.  
-Andraste 7:12

Eve’s heart sunk with the arrival of the dragon. Just as it looked like they had a chance of getting out of this alive those hopes were dashed. She stood listening in the chantry as the strange boy who had arrived at the gates ahead of the army told her and Cullen that all the Elder One wanted was her.

‘If it will save all these people, he can have me.’ Eve said softly. Cullen gave her a stern look that told he didn’t consider that the best option.

‘It won’t.’ Cole said. ‘ He wants to kill you. No-one else matters but he’ll crush them, kill them anyway. I don’t like him.’ 

‘You don’t-’ Cullen sighed in exasperation and turned away from the boy to face Eve. ‘There are no tactics to make this survisable. The only thing that slowed them was the avalanche. We could turn the remaining trebuchets, cause one last slide.’

‘But to hit the enemy, we’d bury Haven.’ The moment Eve spoke the words she knew Cullen had already realised that.

‘We are dying, but we can decide how. Many don’t get that choice.’ He said.

They shared a look and unspoken understanding passed between them. Cullen held out his hand to her and Eve accepted it, his fingers firmly grasped hers. 

‘Chancellor Roderic can help.’ Cole said dragging them back to the moment, ‘He wants to say it before he dies.’

As the Chancellor described the path through the mountains that he’d been shown by Andraste Eve realised that it wasn’t all over. She looked across at her golden-haired templar, who met her gaze with a new spark of light in his own. They could get the people out of here, save lives, they didn’t all have to die here. 

‘What about it Cullen? Will it work?’ Eve asked.

‘Possibly,’ Cullen considered. ‘If he can show them the path.’ Cullen gave her hand a returning squeeze before he pulled it away and turned to moved quickly to fetch Cassandra from the other end of the chantry.  
‘What is this about?’ Cassandra asked tensely as they rejoined Eve and the chancellor. 

‘Roderic knows a path that could take the townspeople out of Haven. I will distract this elder one and his Dragon’ Eve explained. 

‘Is this true?’ Cassandra asked, shocked, looking from her to Roderic who nodded while Cole helped him to stand from his chair. 

‘You need to lead the people out of Haven.’ Cullen said.

Cassandra turned back to him and looked between his and Eve’s determined expressions. ‘But if the Herald is..’

‘I will a company the Herald.’ Cullen cut her off. 

‘I see.’ 

Eve gently touched Cullen’s arm as Cassandra wasted no time moving to organise Cole and the Chancellor.

‘Cullen?’

In the patchy candle light he turned to her, all seriousness and solemn. 

‘Cullen, go with them.’ Eve begged.

He frowned down at her. ‘What?’ 

‘Cassandra and the others, go with them. Be safe. Let me know that, that you will be safe.’ 

Shaking his head he brought a hand up to gently cup her cheek but when he spoke his voice was firm and decided. ‘I didn’t wait four years just to lose you to now, Eve. If this elder one wants you he will have to go through me first.’


End file.
